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3 Things That Drive Men Away
Not Giving Him Enough Space
I want to talk to you about the three things that drive men away because we don’t want to drive men away. The first one is not giving men enough space. I know this is hard because you meet a guy or you’re dating the guy or even talking to a guy. You feel things are going well or you hope they will until you want to talk to him. You want to see him. You want to be in touch with him, but he’s starting to feel there’s too much clinging going on so he’s starting to pull back and then you can feel that. That’s because you’re not giving him enough space. The thing is relationships give you more space. You need to trust that when you get into a relationship, you are going to have all the space you need. A man needs to feel that he’s not going to lose his freedom if he gets into a relationship with you. That’s one of the things that will drive a man away if you’re dating him because he feels he’s going to lose his freedom.
The great thing about getting into a relationship, if you do this right, a man will feel he has more freedom because he doesn’t have to worry about dating anymore. He’s found you. He’s in love with you. He’s taking care of you. He can sit back and that part of his life is resolved. He has more time to focus on all the things that he loves, you, his friends, his work, and all the things that are important to him. If you try to take some of that space away by expecting him to put all of his attention on you, you’re definitely going to drive him away. Remember that we all need our own interests. We all need to have our own friends. We need to develop and continue to develop those relationships because that’s what makes our relationship healthy.You need to trust that when you get into a relationship, you are going to have all the space you need. Click To Tweet
If you’re feeling clingy, needy, jealous or resentful of that time that he takes with his friend, you need to look at where that’s coming from. Maybe you’re feeling a little insecure. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past or somebody cheated on you. You’re trying to control the situation in an attempt for you to feel safe, but what you’re doing is pushing him away. You definitely want to take a good look at what you’re doing that might be preventing a man from his privacy. Definitely never check his phone. Don’t read his messages. Don’t dig for information about him. If you feel that there’s something that warrants a conversation, that’s what you need to have. You need to have a conversation with him if you have any suspicions and you can say something like, “I need help understanding. Will you please help me to understand this?” Ask him to help you understand it, so it doesn’t come across that you’re accusing him of anything.
I give my husband a lot of space. One of the things that we discussed while we were in that commitment phase is that he had all the freedom he needed. I encouraged him to do things and continue to do things with his friends. When he did, I’m like, “Have fun. I’ll see you when you get home. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” That comes from confidence. When you have a lot of self-confidence and high self-worth, you can extend all the freedom you want to your guy because you’re going to notice if anything shifts in your relationship. You’re going to be aware of it. You’re going to trust that you have the tools and the capacity to take care of yourself, to heal yourself, to take care of your own heart if anything does happen. You have to extend trust to your partner, to the man you’re dating. That’s going to keep him coming back for more. The fact that you’re not clingy in a relationship is going to create curiosity on his part and go, “I wonder what she’s doing.” Make sure you have your own friends, your own interests, and you’re regularly scheduling those things even if you don’t want to. It’s important to keep that tension on. Keep him wondering about you instead of you always wondering about what he’s doing with his friends.
The Power Struggle
Let’s move onto the second thing that drives men away. This one is a big one for women that are powerful. The power struggle, that’s what will drive men away. If you have any power struggle with your man. One of the things is paying. That’s a power struggle. I support you not paying for dates. You don’t pay for anything for the least the first several weeks, if not month in the relationship because you want to see what he’s willing to do for you. That’s going to give you the answers that you need to see if he’s a potential life partner for you. A power struggle could simply be that you are offering to pay or saying things and you may not even realize you’re saying things like, “I got it. I’m good. Thanks, but I’ll take care of it.” You might even start noticing if you’re saying those things, even in the store. If you’re reaching up to get something and a man tries to help you and you’re like, “I got it.” That is a part of this power struggle and that tells me that you don’t know how to receive. That’s what a power struggle is. You’re not in your feminine energy and you don’t know how to receive what a man’s offering.
Also, challenging him. Maybe he said something and you get into a discussion and you challenge what he’s saying. Men are not threatened by women who have money, who have a better car or even higher education. What will drive men away is if you have a power struggle with them about topics, about their point of view. A man wants to feel like he’s winning with you. If you want a man in your life, you want to keep this in mind. It’s not that you’re dimming your light or stuffing down how you feel, but it’s you recognizing that a man’s a man and they need to feel like a man. If you want a man in your life, these are the principles of having a relationship with a man. Save those great debates for your girlfriends, for your coworkers and remember that a power struggle with a man is an energy drain. He’s going to choose a woman that’s easier to get along with, that’s more in her feminine energy. Look at where your energy is sourcing. If you’re sourcing from the masculine, you need to do some exercises. You need to do some breathing to get yourself centered, to get yourself into the receiving mode.The fact that you're not clingy in a relationship is going to create curiosity on his part. Click To Tweet
Don’t offer to give a man anything, especially gifts. Here’s another little tip I’m going to give you. Gift giving, never give a man a gift that is equal to the one that he gives you. Say a man took you on a trip. If you wanted to give him something because you’re dating him, you could give him a book. That’s what I recommend. Don’t offer to take him on a trip or don’t buy him an expensive dinner. If he buys you an expensive dinner and you’ve been dating him, then you can pick up the breakfast tab or cook him breakfast or get him something small so that he doesn’t feel upstaged by you. A man is uncomfortable with receiving expensive gifts. He doesn’t need you to buy expensive gifts or gifts at all. He wants to do that for you. He wants to be the one that’s giving and you’re receiving. Anytime you give a man a gift, make sure it’s proportionate. One quarter to his four quarters, a small token of your appreciation. What a man wants from you is verbal appreciation. Say thank you and mean it. Tell them how much you appreciate him. That goes far. It goes much further than anything you could ever give him. These men thrive on the appreciation and gratitude that you will show him because then it makes everything that he does for you worthwhile.
Not Saying What You Mean
The third in my three things that drive men away and this is a big one, is not saying what you mean. We sometimes think that men can read our mind. We sit there and we use our body language to communicate, but men don’t pick up on the cues and the body language that women use. They’re looking for a concrete answer. If you don’t communicate what it is you want or if you disagree with something like he’s going out with his friend and you’re like, “Go ahead,” but in the inside, you’re steaming because you want him to be with you. He’s going to pick up on that energy and he’s going to resent the fact that you will not say what you mean. You have to learn to communicate. Everything that I’m sharing on these things that drive men away is about communication. If you don’t have straight, candid communication, you can’t solve issues that will threaten a relationship from even starting. It all starts with your ability to communicate and learning how to articulate what it is you want to a man.
Always make an effort to help him to understand you. I always like to say things like, “Help me understand why I feel the way I do?” Men will respond well to that. What you’re really saying is, “I’m feeling something. I’m feeling a little out of sorts. Will you help me figure out where it might be coming from?” A man will respond well to that because you’re asking for his help. For one, you’re not accusing him of anything. You’re not being defensive. You’re asking for his help to help you understand why you’re feeling a certain way. A man will soften and he’ll look at you and he will try to help you figure that out. Make sure that you are good and clear in your communications with men. That’s the thing that’s going to drive them away if you’re not.
All of these things that I’m talking about, I am teaching in my Bridge To Love Program. The thing about my program that sets it apart from other programs, because I know you probably signed up for many courses. Maybe you haven’t finished all the courses that you signed up for and you’re like, “This is just another course.” There are many things out there you can take advantage of but why I feel strongly that my course sets itself apart from other courses is I teach the action steps that are related to all the things that you learned. Sure, you’ve learned many things over your lifetime and intellectual knowledge is fantastic, but it’s useless if you don’t know how to apply it. I give you real-world examples and I roleplay with you and I’ll give you tools that you can put into action immediately. Everything that I teach is practical and applicable to the dating process, to getting into a relationship and staying there.Stop wasting your precious time so that you can understand men, understand yourself. Click To Tweet
Another thing about my course, I’ve made it affordable. The reason why I’ve done that is because I want many women to sign up for this course. It’s a five-week accelerated course to help you to stop wasting your precious time so that you can understand men, understand yourself, and learn how to get a man to commit to you. There’s a whole formula you need to follow, but you need guidance. Most importantly, you need to know the action step to take. I know that you all know so much about a lot of these things that I’m teaching about, but the missing piece is the application of the knowledge. I’m giving you an opportunity and a special price so that you can join my program and receive over $2,000 worth of bonuses and connect with me once a week for five weeks. All the calls are going to be live interactive calls where you can roleplay with me. Do Q&A and ask me questions right on the spot that I will answer and give you real-world advice that will lead to a successful date, a successful relationship and getting you a commitment.
My special pricing is only $97. You’re not going to find that anywhere with what I’m teaching. All of these principles are applicable. I I want to connect with you. I talk to hundreds of women every year about their struggles. A lot of the struggles that I know that you’re facing are getting off the couch. Getting out there and knowing where to go. What to do when you get there. How to get more dates? How to get asked out on second dates? A lot of it is communication so we’re going to spend a lot of time on communication. It’s getting through that intimacy piece. It’s feeling confident about communicating with men. Everything’s connected and I’m going to help you connect the dots and make sure that you have success. Join me at BridgeToLoveClub.com. You’re going to get all the bonuses. You’re going to get the training.
The Gift of Gab is going to teach you about responsible communication, trigger happy, how to get over being defensive when you’re in your communications and when you’re talking with men. There is much other training you could take advantage of before the program even starts. You can also start connecting with me and my Facebook group, which I’ll send you an invitation to you once you sign up for the program. Go to BridgeToLoveClub.com and then we’ll start working together in five short weeks. It is going to catapult you way ahead. That’s what you need. You need a huge catapult. You need me to send you into the next phase so that you can get out of this cycle that you’re stuck in and that’s what I’m passionate about helping you to do. Go to that link and I hope that I’ll connect with you. Thanks for joining me. Keep tuning into my Facebook channel and you’ll find me. Lots of love.
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