This holiday week I’ve had some time to rest, relax, rejuvenate and reflect. And during the time I was reflecting in meditation and just sitting in stillness; I heard that quiet voice of Spirit and I had a light bulb moment! I had an “aha.”
After reading emails from my various sources, it dawned on me that there’s a lot of talk about how “they have this because of this, and if you do this you can have this, expect more and get more, desires are to be honored and expected to be fulfilled…and I thought what the heck?
That really ticked my ego mind off! I think part of it was my mirror, for me to look at what I have been doing and saying, but a lot of it is just incorrect thinking.
Needs versus want. Desires versus needs. Very confusing! Is it ok to want what you want? Are desires, especially superficial ones, bad?
I know you are searching for your Soulmate and your needs and desires are to feel safe, sane and secure in a relationship so you can put all the dilemmas of dating behind you and start living the life you’ve been dreaming of, visualizing, journaling and talking to your friends.
But, here’s the truth—
“Real love comes not from trying to solve your neediness or desires by depending on another, but by developing your own inner richness and maturity. Then you have so much love to give that you naturally draw love to you.”~ Osho
Now, I know that may not be what you want to hear—
But, I know it to be true by my own life experiences. You see, I grew as an economically challenged child. Better said, “POOR.” I stood in the welfare line holding my Mother’s hand, waiting to receive powdered milk and eggs. I was ashamed. I was always hungry. I was always scared that they (social services) would put us in a foster home because my Mom worked all day while my sister and I raised our brothers and sisters. I was ashamed of our status in life, and I vowed I would grow up to live a very different life!
But that’s not so easy to do because:
- I had abandonment issues
- I had scarcity and lack of money beliefs
- I didn’t trust men because they abused me
- I learned how to control and manipulate to survive
- I was emotional bankrupt
I was avoiding myself. I was too ashamed to look at myself, so I spent years blaming others and justifying my behavior. I was in a lot of pain and I was ANGRY and hurt! I was angry and hurt about what happened to me as a child and in my 1st marriage.
Healing paradox: “It’s not my fault, but it’s my responsibility to heal.”
Long story short—In my first marriage I felt entitled (fear driven) and attracted a wealthy man in order to feel safe and so that my children would never have to experience what I did as a child. What I didn’t realize is that we are all here to learn from our experiences. So, in the process of trying to reverse what happened to me, I created an entirely different set of problems for myself and my family.
I was ruthless at times trying to protect my hurt, so others wouldn’t see the “real me” the part of me that was worthless, not good enough, it’s all my fault, and all men hurt me, men leave, cheat and abandon me, and because that’s all I thought about, that’s what I brought about!
I unconsciously, involuntarily, replicated the past in an attempt to heal.
I didn’t understand the healing paradox at the time. I divorced in 2005 and it hurt badly. As much as I wanted to blame my ex, I knew on a lot of levels that I was responsible, too. I fell from grace. No money, no direction in life, I felt shame about being single. I was a train wreck who sat on my couch night after night, month after month, year after year frozen and resentful that life hadn’t turned out the way it “should” have. I was “shoulding” on myself!
At some point, I realized that I had to take action. I could no longer ignore my situation. Just because I wouldn’t look, it didn’t go away. I was totally humbled by my experience, and at ground zero. Once I was there I had a thought…hey, the view is not so bad down here. The only place to go is up!
Getting to the point
Attracting my husband, Michael, was much more complicated than I had initially thought. I had to figure out the formula. The formula to my success was buried in my failures and darkest hours in my life. The solution was in the problems!
Your problems hold your solutions, but you need help to discover how to look at your problems without playing the shame, blame, and victim game!
That’s where I come in! All the problems I have ever had have been my most excellent teachers and now I’m here to help you solve your problems too. Especially the one’s that brings you your Soulmate who will commit to you!
Solution: I’ve created a Bridge™ to Love for you! Time to take action!
There are a lot of women out there just tolerating life. Settling for so-so. Giving up on their deepest desires and even a little embarrassed by what they want.
Are you one of them?
You’re an educated, bright woman. You have lived life and been through a lot. You take good care of yourself (for the most part), and everyone likes you.
So why the nagging feeling that you’re just plain missing something?!
And why has love continued to be the one goal you can’t seem to reach?
What advice would you give to your best friend or your child? To settle? To give up? Or would you tell them that there was still a lot of life to live and that they deserved to be happy?
If you feel like life is passing you by, but you think you lack the energy, passion, time, or knowledge or money to change things, I have news for you.
It is NOT too late, my friend. My clients and I are proof of that!
You can watch this video I made about “How to Get Your Needs Met” so you can learn from me about how to ask for what you want and expect to get it. Click here to watch the video.
Here’s what my private client sent me in an email :
“I just now am feeling the profound blessing of our work together. Wow, I was frozen in a pond of hurt, guilt and confusion. I totally lost myself. But God had a plan… I reached out to you because my ex was engaged before the divorce was final. My heart was shattered. I thought I was going to push my way through, and get into the dating scene. But God had a plan… You have released me of 10 years of self judgement, confusion, giving my heart, soul and energy away to people who kept saying I wasn’t enough. Thank you for opening my eyes and giving me back my freedom! Thank you for reminding me of who I am, not the distorted perception of what others are saying. Love you honey, wishing you an amazing 2018, beyond your wildest dreams! God brought you to me. I am so grateful.”
Are you ready to develop your own inner richness and maturity so that you have so much love to give, that you naturally draw love to you along with a man who will commit to you?
Love you so much,