Date High Value!

In today’s video, I’m pretty much unplugged. Delivering heartfelt wisdom from the hallway of the Thompson Hotel in Nashville. A perfect (although not conventional) example of being high value.

Thanks for being here. June will be our high-value month and we’re going to deep dive into the nuances of value.

Mark your calendar and please join me every Thursday (June 2021) LIVE at 3:00 pm Pac., 5 pm CST., 6 pm EST.

💖 Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

Time to speak your truth

We’ve all been living differently for about a year now, and for many people, spending a lot more time on one’s own can dredge up emotional issues that were long suppressed. Did you experience that? If so, that can be a tough thing to carry as you attempt to date online now. Coronavirus dating was/is all about a new brand of digital intimacy, and maybe now, a year in, you’re finding that you struggle to make real connections because of all the blocks that have resurfaced! You’re afraid to speak up and speak your truth.

You’re not alone!

There are thousands of people who have turned SO inward in the face of isolation, that they’ve all but forgotten how to meet new people! 

But you MUST overcome this and put yourself out there! Learning to tip-toe your way into intimacy and truth with a man even when social restrictions seem to make it difficult, is KEY to manifesting the love you want.

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without The Guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

One of the best online dating profiles I’ve seen lately was 100% real. She wasn’t trying to be anything but herself. It went something like this:

“Single mom quarantined with two crazy monkeys (kids) in dire need of adult contact (wine) but hesitant to date (because, you know, pandemic death risk). Let me know if you’re interested in getting to know a sassy (sarcastic), chilled out (exhausted) and open-minded mom of two. P.S. I like my space and won’t answer messages during The Bachelor.”

My guess is that she was BOMBARDED with messages and the good news? She is in charge. She can respond or not! She was honest, she set boundaries. And the same can be true for you .

If you’re too afraid to speak up about your truth and set boundaries, your self-esteem suffers AND your partner will lose respect for you. What’s worse you’ll feel doubly betrayed – by yourself for not speaking up, and by your partner for overstepping! This just leads to a spiral of confusion and hard feelings.

Another way staying silent can hurt is that it causes many women to distance themselves emotionally. And in this age of social distancing, the emotional bond is more important than ever! This is a time for truth and not settling for anything that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled and happy, because there are enough things in the world that drain you. Staying emotionally connected to a partner can help get you through the tough days. 

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

And think about it- it’s never been easier to protect yourself! You are separated by a computer screen and possibly thousands of miles and social distancing regulations (which seem to be lifting now). If you’re not vibing with someone, just cut ties and move on! The silver lining of this pandemic is that you have more space than ever to really zero in on what you want and release the rest without fear of awkward in-person run-ins!

Usually, not being able to find and use your voice springs from one thing -FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of not being good enough…they can all render you speechless (believe me, I have been there). But being fear driven is no way to live and love. It isn’t until you can overcome that fear that you’ll truly be able to present your authentic self and use your voice to the utmost.

What fears are you struggling with most right now? I’m sure you’re not alone. Let’s get a discussion going in the comments! 

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without the guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

Come closer, but not TOO close! (The Importance of Good Boundaries!)

Have you ever considered just how important setting strong boundaries is for dating? Sound counterintuitive? After all, we want the men to come CLOSER right? Well….sort of!

Boundaries are vital because boundaries – what you will and won’t accept from a relationship  – keep you feeling safe and confident in your own values and preferences. THEY MATTER.

When we don’t have any parameters, and instead acquiesce to whatever requests come our way, in spite of how we might feel, we become uncomfortable and even resentful, right? And is that good for the relationship? No way! It isn’t good for your mental well-being, either, and that is a really important point to remember.

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

Remember, men aren’t mind readers. You need to teach them how to treat you, and boundary setting can help. When you have strong, healthy boundaries, you show that you have strong and healthy self-esteem. Trust me, men respect women who communicate healthy boundaries early and often – quality men do not want to date a doormat!

The key, though, is in HOW you establish those boundaries. Time to get out your “feather,” ladies! You want to gently and consistently present what makes you comfortable as opposed to going on the defensive and withdrawing or acting out when he oversteps his bounds (especially when he may not even realize that he has!). He’ll be much more receptive if things are made clear ahead of time, lovingly and honestly. 

It’s not always just in what you say, but how you say it!

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

I want you to take some time and think about where you are with your boundaries – in setting them, communicating them, and reacting when you feel they’ve been violated. Are you forthright or wishy-washy? Do you react viscerally, or do you withdraw? Unless your answers make you feel content and proud, you have some work to do. Future partners will thank you. It’s as much for his sake as it is for yours. 

Remember, boundaries give a relationship structure and help you attract and keep the kind of man you want. If you find yourself with a man who isn’t respecting yours after you’ve made them clear, it’s time to move on to someone who does!

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!

“Oh, I am so busy!”

We all say it, and often even mean it…but being super busy isn’t necessarily healthy! 

That’s because when we are “busy” – with work or hobbies or whatever is taking up the bulk of our time – it allows us to avoid things that we don’t want to face. Things like starting to date, or unpacking our inner baggage, or problems nagging us in the back of our minds.

When you’re busy, you don’t have time to dwell on what’s missing in your life. You can’t sit quietly with your thoughts and think about the consequences of choices you’ve made or recent triggers you’ve faced. 

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

You can “hide” in the energy of being busy! 

The problem with this is, eventually the things from which you’re hiding WILL get your attention. Maybe it will be in the form of an uncomfortable phone call, or a forgotten appointment, or even a migraine! And if that happens, you’re in a position of defensiveness, of reacting to the issue instead of proactively handling things. 

A healthier thing to do is slow down and check-in with yourself. Even the busiest among us can take ten minutes to breathe and concentrate on ourselves! You may surprise yourself with the results. 

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

Just recently in my own life, I was really busy with the launch of a new program when I experienced a “trigger moment.” I wanted to just avoid it and made myself even busier as a distraction. But deep down I knew that I needed to lean into that trigger and get curious about it. I needed to spend some time dealing with it in a healthier way than just ignoring the issue. And in fact, if I had kept ignoring it, I would have missed the benefits of the wisdom that arose when I finally faced how I was feeling.

The next time you tell yourself you’re “too busy to” date, do some inner work, confront an uncomfortable situation, pause for a minute and really think about what you’re telling yourself. Are you really too busy? Or are you hiding? The answer may surprise you!

And I get it. This level of awareness is not for the faint of heart. But it is the mark of a fully actualized, super-empowered, totally captivating WOMAN!

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!