I want you to picture what you do on a normal day.  

Whatever your daily routine is, I can guarantee that it is exactly that: routine. When we get into a routine, we get comfortable, right? It’s human nature. But if you do the same thing every day, do you expect anything to change? If you want to welcome a man into your life, then we have to get out of this rut. 

Let me explain. 

We live in our comfort zones. That’s pretty normal. We do the same things all the time because we feel comfortable with the familiar. Our brains know what to expect, so we follow the same paths again and again. 

But this is also how we get in our own way. There is no RISK in your comfort zone, right? And meeting someone new is a big risk. In fact, sometimes it can be such a big leap out of your comfort zone that, as much as you want to meet someone, your brain might just shut that idea down. 

“I’d talk to him, but I’m busy.” “I’d give him my number, but I doubt he’ll call anyway.” “I’d like to go to that singles event, but it’s been a long week.” 

Comfort zone, comfort zone, comfort zone. Right?  

When you don’t want to push your boundaries, you have to take baby steps to expand your comfort zone. The discomfort is only temporary. I promise! 

Start by making changes to your routines (basically, make them less “routine”). Schedule more Zoom dates, try intermittent fasting, or start a regular meditation practice.

Doing things, a little differently will make you more comfortable with taking risks and trying new things. 

After all, your man is in the unknown, and we want to find him, right? 

-Jaki  

Sometimes, we get so stuck in our heads when we’re worried about making the right impression in a new relationship. It can make us feel stiff and uncertain. And that can make us come across as cold. 

You truly have to believe in your value so it shines through. THIS is what a man needs to see to commit. You need to show him that you have something to offer that other women don’t. Talk about what is really important to you and let him into your world. You want to be with someone who respects your interests, so don’t worry about being judged.  

The second part of this is being vulnerable. Vulnerability is NOT a weakness. It’s about having the strength and courage to be open and honest, with no guarantee of a result. That is FAR from weak! 

Vulnerability helps you connect on a deep level. Open up and show him your true self. Men innately want to help and, honestly, take care of a woman, even if it’s just a few little things—we’re not talking about a 1950s housewife, by the way. Let him see that you’re a real person, not just your Facebook profile (come on, we all know those are everyone’s highlight reels). 

When you show him that you have frustration or uncertainty—just like everyone else—it opens up that beautiful space of love so you can have deep conversations. Be real. Let him be there for you. 

Sometimes a man will offer to help you with something because it makes them feel like they are taking care of you, so be open to receiving. If he offers to do something for you, take him up on it. Be appreciative! If he’s trying to do something that will make your life easier, even if it’s picking up Mexican to go for dinner, that’s a step in the right direction! 

Being Playful Isn’t Just for Kids! 

One of the many things I’ve learned in my career over the years is that playfulness is a feminine quality that men love. They appreciate a woman who can be carefree and spontaneous, ready to take on a fun new adventure! I know my husband Michael loves that side of me. 

 It probably won’t surprise you to learn, however, that lately I just haven’t felt very playful. and I realize I’ve been more serious and somber than usual. And no matter how much I try to balance the stress of current events with good things and joy, it’s been taking a toll on me. Are you in the same boat? I know MANY women who are. 

I’m focusing on amping up my playfulness factor this month, both for my well-being and for my family’s. I invite you to do the same! Think of how happy you were as a kid after a day spent running around outside, playing in a sprinkler, bike riding, even reading under a shady tree. You can recapture that feeling even now.  

There are plenty of little things you can build into your days that can bring a lighter mood and a smile to your face. You need that – we are living through an incredibly stressful time.  

 Here are a few things I’m planning to do to bring back my sense of play! They’re easy and can make a big impact on your mood and outlook.    

• Cranking up the tunes –  I love good old rock and roll! I can’t wait to tell Alexa to play my favorite 80’s rock playlist and dance around my kitchen with Michael. 

• Taking long walks – Sometimes for exercise, sometimes just for daydreaming. Either way, so much of my joy comes from nature that I am going to be intentional about making this a priority. It never fails to lift my spirits. 

• Dressing up – Even if it’s just jeans with a nice tee and fun jewelry to wear around my house, dressing up has always felt like play for me! June Cleaver used to wear a dress and pearls to cook dinner – you don’t have to go that far but it could be fun to dress up and make yourself a super fancy cocktail! 

• Meeting up with friends on Zoom – This is a great way to reconnect with friends near and far. Laughing about old times is fun! You can even play games like Pictionary or have a trivia contest. 

• Taking Zumba classes – This is a big one. Nothing feels better than when I’m moving my body! Many gyms are now holding outdoor and virtual online classes – check one out! The music is so fantastic you just can’t help moving to the beat. Even if you think you have two left feet, I urge you to try this fun form of exercise.  

• Getting more laughs– With so many streaming options to choose from, I’ll have no problem finding comedies old and new to crack me up. There are lots of stand-up comics to be discovered there as well! I’m not in the mood for any tear-jerkers right now (I feel like I get enough of that feeling just reading headlines) – I need some belly laughs! 

• Dreaming – Yes! In the midst of this changing world, I’m going to start changing myself too. The first step in that process is dreaming of future goals and where I want my life to go. I’m going to put together a vision board to help focus my efforts and make my dreams a reality. Try it – it’s fun to dream of the future (especially when the present seems a bit scary and uncertain)! 

This is just a starting point, and I’m sure you have some ideas of your own. If you have a minute, drop me a line and let me know how YOU are going to recover your sense of playfulness. I want to know! 

 Remember- you landed here because a loving relationship with a man who adores you is one of your most important life goals.  

When you awaken your sense of play, you become irresistible! He is navigating this crazy world too! Men don’t talk about it as much, but they are feeling the heaviness just as much as we are.  

And when he sees you, light, carefree, and reveling in feminine playfulness, you will be the exact breath of fresh air he’s craving right now!  

xo, 

Jaki  

Yes, You Can Still Find JOY!   

“Your challenges don’t need to paralyze you, let them be the catalyst to discover who you really are.”  – Jaki Sabourin   

Right now, the world isn’t a very happy place. There is stress and strife no matter where you look, and with our 24-hour news cycle, it’s hard to not invite that negative energy right into your heart.  

Have you let the world stage steal your joy?  Balancing the despair, you feel when you hear about tragedy and injustice with hope is a delicate act, to be sure. But it can be done! In fact, I urge you not to let the tragedies of the world paralyze you, for that’s when you stop taking care of yourself, which isn’t good for anyone.   

Besides, joy is the key to manifesting what you genuinely desire in your life! When we’re not a vibrational match to what it is that we truly want, we simply cannot attract it. Instead, we are then put into a holding pattern of sorts, until we can identify the discord and come back into vibrational resonance. 

Remember that you are a creator whether you are conscious or not! Make a conscious decision to bring yourself back to joy. Energy flows where your attention goes.  

Here are 7 ways I bring more joy into my life, and you can start using them too, ad practice self-care at the same time. It’s a win-win! 

• Gratitude – make a habit of naming 3 things (at least!) that you are grateful for each day. Even better if you can write them down! 

• Exercise – the best stress reliever and head-clearer around. Sweat out the negativity and feel calmer and more peaceful afterward. 

• Personal growth – take an online course, find a new hobby, branch out your reading…anything to expand your mind and bring in a flood of new ideas! 

• Tune out the news and TV – as I said before, we are in a 24-hour news cycle, and bad news attracts more clicks and viewers. Give yourself a few minutes to check the headlines each day if you must, but endless scrolling through nothing but bad news isn’t good for your soul. The world isn’t all bad, I promise, though most media outlets lead us to believe otherwise! 

• Get back to nature – multiple studies have shown the benefits of being outside and getting fresh air!

• Meditate – no, it isn’t easy at first to quiet your mind for long minutes at a time. But there are many apps out there that can help you learn. I do this every day and I can’t believe how much more centered I feel!

• Eat healthy – especially during this time of COVID, eating healthy food is the best thing you can do for your body and mind. Eating well decreases inflammation, can help prevent disease and keeps you from “crashing” and being crabby every afternoon! 

Maybe you think, “when I get the relationship I want I’ll become more joyful,” or “when I make x amount of money, I’ll really be happy,” but it doesn’t work that way. No number of magical things or events will ever make you feel truly content. The pleasure from external things is temporary; instant gratification only goes so far.  

You must learn to be happy with who you are and with what you have right now so you can step into vibrational harmony with your higher power. Being connected to your joy is the fastest way to attract what you want!  

Benefits of feeling more joy: 

• promotes a healthier lifestyle 
• boosts immune system 
• fights stress and pain 
• supports longevity  
• attracts similar joyful experiences and relationships.  

There is still joy to be found, friends! You only need to be open to it. The key to this openness is gratitude and appreciation for what you have right now while simultaneously desiring more. The universe will respond to your gratefulness and joy and reward you with even more to be grateful for! I’ve seen it work time and again. 

And don’t forget- your ultimate goal is to attract LOVE. 

Men cannot resist a woman who stands in her joy and finds reasons to be happy and light when the world around her isn’t. He will be magnetically attracted to your energy and will even begin to crave it! 

So, go ahead! Appreciate the sunset, dance in your bedroom, buy a new lipstick, do whatever you feel like doing to squeeze as much joy as you can from each moment of your day!