Do you ever feel like you need to put “Serious relationship inquiries only” on your online dating profile? Does it seem like most of the guys out there are just looking for a hookup? 

If that resonated with you, I’m sure you are feeling the frustration. You meet someone with potential, and he’s perfect on paper, but when you want to meet him, he asks you to come over for “a movie and cuddles.” Seriously?

I don’t care if he is a math professor and a model—that is NOT what you’re looking for. And you deserve so much more. 

Finding a guy who wants something more than a casual hook up when you meet them in the real world may seem like a challenge, but those guys really are out there. It is easier to talk about intentions online than in real life, so when you talk to them, let them know what you’re looking for. Be honest. 

Usually, they will be honest, too, if they are only looking to hook up (after all, they aren’t going to meet their goal with you!). Then you don’t have to worry about wasting your time on a “date” that is heading in the wrong direction. 

But a word of caution, name, don’t settle! If you suspect that he’s only looking to hook up, trust your gut, and don’t waste your time. And if you go out with a guy who only wants to hook up, don’t do it thinking that you can change his mind. Remember, men are pretty stubborn. If he wants a hookup, that’s probably all he wants! 

You know what you want. Don’t compromise!

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Relationships are built on mutual trust, so it doesn’t make sense to start out with a lie, right? But it happens all the time. People post an old picture of themselves twenty pounds lighter on a dating site. Or they are “exclusively” dating two or more people! 

I know that you don’t want to try getting into a relationship on the wrong foot because nothing good will come of that. So here are the three most common lies that can sabotage dating and relationships.   

1. You say you are available, but you are not legally.

Lying about availability for a relationship is devastating for partners who discover their significant other has been dishonest. Sometimes people lie and say they are single when they are not, or they may lie about whether they have children. This is never fair to the person being lied to, or to the people being lied about. 

If you’re in the middle of a divorce, be honest about it. And if you’re married, then you especially should be honest about it. You would want the same level of honesty from someone you are dating, too. Nothing good can come from lying about your availability. 

Come join my Facebook Group Ladies Club for (free) feedback on your burning dating questions and tips for attracting and keeping the man of your dreams. 

2. Pretending you’re ok when you’re not.

You should never lie about anything that bothers you in the relationship. You can be honest in an open but sensitive, tactful manner. Avoiding real communication, even if conflict arises, will take away from forming and maintaining an authentic relationship. You can’t expect any relationship to be completely free of disagreement. And you have to stand up for your needs and desires, too.  

Lying about your feelings can range from where you want to eat dinner, to where you want to live. In many relationships, lying about sexual satisfaction is also common. Pretending to enjoy a less than satisfactory sex life is bound to sabotage your relationship eventually. Lying often becomes a slippery slope that becomes easier to do than telling the truth 

3. You cheated or he’s cheating.

If you’re cheating on your partner, then they may think something is wrong, and grasp at clues, to try to figure out what it is. Worse, when you aren’t honest about what’s going on, the lack of communication between the two of you may push them to spy, go through your wallet or phone, or search for information any way that they can find it. Lying, especially long-term, about any behavior or action is very wrong, and unfair to your partner. Consider what it can do to them? They probably abhor who they have become in the relationship, as a result.  

Even worse, is trying to make them think that the situation is all in their head, and that you are innocent of any wrong doing. Your partner wants to believe you. They love you. They want to think you would never lie to them. Cut it out. It’s cruel to live a lie—any lie. Both of you deserve better. 

Do build your relationship from a strong foundation that includes honesty. You wouldn’t be happy with someone you’re dating knowing that he lied to you. How will you know when the lies stop, right? 

And you want and deserve the same respect, so don’t let someone do this to you either. If you’re being lied to, then stand up for yourself. Lying is just not acceptable in a healthy relationship. 

Come join my Facebook Group Ladies Club for (free) feedback on your burning dating questions and tips for attracting and keeping the man of your dreams. 

In today’s video I shared several steps you need to take to become the best version of yourself, the version that will be most appealing to men.  

Heal. Become more intimate with yourself.  

Take care of your body, mind, spirit. Look at who you surround yourself with. Forgive. These are just a few. I answered questions too! 

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