September has arrived, and with it, kids all over the country are loading up their backpacks for a new round of learning. 

Even if it’s been years since you’ve set foot into a classroom, today, I’m taking you back school to learn the “3 R’s” – but they’re NOT reading, writing, or arithmetic!

These 3 R’s are going to unlock the power of your feminine energy in a way you’ve never experienced before, and it’s this power that will finally allow you to get close to your dream man. 

Our first R stands for one of my favorite words – RELAX! 

It seems to me that humanity is having a crisis of fear and anxiety. Fear about the future, anxiety about past mistakes…and constantly living in a heightened state of “what if?” Imagine if you became an exception to this way of living? Start appreciating the moment and watch your magnetism soar! I don’t have enough space in this blog post to enumerate all the studies that show what men want most from women is to have fun! If you approach dating with a deep breath and a commitment to go with the flow, instead of walking on eggshells and worrying about “where things are going,” YOU will enjoy yourself more, and so will HE. In fact, he probably won’t be able to get ENOUGH of you! Men want to be around women who feel great about themselves and spread that positivity to them! Dating is supposed to be a positive experience, not a long slog that you force yourself through.  

Next up – Receive.  

This is a tough one for many successful, self-sufficient women like you. But I’m telling you, it’s a biggie! Cultivating your ability to receive gracefully will allow you to surrender to what’s unfolding in your relationship, without feeling the urge to be controlling or putting forth some masculine energy. Allow yourself to accept what he’s offering! Give this essential feminine quality the space to bloom. When you do, it’s a win-win – he gets to be your hero, while you get to see how (and IF!) he will step up. This is a CRITICAL piece of information that can help you see if this guy is a long-term fit for you! Besides, sometimes it’s just lovely to let someone else “take care of business.”  

The final R is for Radiate. 

I want you to remember this important fact: your value is not in prancing around trying to get others to accept you. Your worth is in your own self-love and self-acceptance. So, start acting like it! Nurture your soul, take care of your body and mind, and put the world on alert that yeah, you really ARE worth it. When you fall in love with yourself, the men will fall right in line behind you! They love a confident woman who sees the value within her soul. It’s ironic that it’s often when you feel fulfilled on your own, Mr. Right waltzes right in to add the icing on the cake. I have seen it happen time and again!  

There you have it. RELAX. RECEIVE. RADIATE.  

Sounds like a great way to live, doesn’t it?  

xo 

Jaki  

Getting dumped is never fun, but people often tend to forget that initiating the breakup can also be pretty awful — yes, you’re in control, but that doesn’t leave you immune to guilt, angst, grief, or some deeply unpleasant combo of all the above. 

Here’s a few tips to follow to pave the way for the most conscious breakup possible.  

Before Breakup – where to do it. 

If you cared about him and or even loved him do it at his place so you can leave when you are ready. 

If you dated a few times and became exclusive but not a lot of time invested it’s ok to call him. Worst case scenario is in a text. but that’s pretty ruthless. 

During – Be straightforward. 

Script:  “There’s no easy way to do this, and it hurts me to know I’m hurting you, but I need to end this relationship.” 

If they beg you to change your mind – Someone shouldn’t have to beg or convince you to love them or be with them. 

If they get angry –  Remember that only you can control your behaviors and emotional responses. Commit to staying calm and realize that anger is a secondary emotion, usually masking hurt, pain, and rejection. 

If they get sad –  You can make an empathetic comment, such as, “ know this is really hard on you, and that it’s not what you want to hear. I’m so sorry to hurt you.” 

If they promise to change –  This is a common reaction to a breakup: Your partner will make promises, whether it’s to change, go to therapy, or do whatever you want to make it work. However, these types of changes should have already been discussed before you actually decided to break up. 

After – Tell your friends and family right away. Prioritize your physical and emotional health. The most important coping skills involve managing your physiological needs for proper sleep, diet, exercise, and quality time with supportive friends. You may also want some time to yourself to cry it out. Just don’t self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, rebound sex, stalking your ex on social media, or frequently contacting him. 

Make a game plan for social media – If it’s an amicable breakup, you may want to agree on a day to change your relationship status, giving you both time to share the news with friends and family before they see it publicly. After this, you may want to block/remove/unfriend, since no one successfully goes from lovers to friends overnight, and remind yourself you can always add them back when and if you’re ready for a platonic friendship. Consider deleting images and saving them to a flash drive that you can put out of sight and out of mind. 

I hope this helps! Breaking up is never easy so be gentle with yourself, and practice self–care and self–love.  

Yours truly, 

Jaki   

Ps: Share this with a friend who is going through a breakup or is getting ready to go through one.  

In case you forgot, you are amazing! 

And as soon as you start showing up as the best version of yourself, men won’t be able to resist.   So how do you do that? By living in your truth.  

What does your truth that have to do with attracting the right man? Plenty! 

When you’re living your truth and following your heart’s desires, you are magnetic to men. You have powerful energy, clear boundaries, irresistible confidence! 

When you’re telling yourself the truth all the time—that you are already walking through the world with feminine power coursing through your veins—rather than relying on the distorted thinking that says you need to be this or change that—then you’ll see that you really are worthy of being loved.  

Women are amazing! You know that already. Just being a woman, you were born with great gifts! We are creators, nurturers. We inspire with our beauty, connections, and devotion. There is power in knowing your value. There is nothing you can compare your value to. Your value lies in who you are. In what you stand for. In how you care. In how you love. 

So here’s the secret to living in your truth and being the best version of yourself: 

✓ You have to heal all the parts of you that are wounded so you can be your most authentic you! That means getting real about any resentments or old programming that need to be released. Forgive them, release them. Move on. 

✓ You have to be self-hearted, focus on you. Find fulfillment within. That’s where the excitement and passion comes from. It doesn’t come from others. It comes from you. And once you truly embrace that, everyone will want to be a part of that amazing energy that you’re putting out!

Look in the mirror and find at least ONE thing about yourself that makes you think, “WOW, I am a CATCH!” 

Because you are 😉  

Love you! 

Jaki  

One of the most frustrating things about dating is when you end up wasting time. It happens a lot when we are younger because we just don’t spot the red flags early on. We don’t have the important discussions upfront. Or maybe we let things slide that aren’t as easy to ignore when we get older. 

But even a seasoned dater may not know exactly how to fast-track commitment, so I wanted to give you some of my favorite tips to keep you from wasting your time and really get to where you want to be in a relationship. 

1. Be clear about what you’re looking for from the beginning. I don’t want you to feel awkward about doing this because it’s really an important step. When you’re honest upfront, it gives him the chance to be honest, too. And frankly, it can keep both of you from wasting time.

When you initially talk on the phone, let him know what you’re looking for when you’re dating. Say, “I’m excited about starting a family someday” or “I’m excited to find someone to spend my life with.” Then ask, “What about you?” Most men will be honest here and let you know what they want from dating. If your answers aren’t the same, then you know right off the bat that you aren’t a match. Be polite and wish him luck.  

2. Believe what you hear.  If he says he’s looking for casual dating, then don’t try to convert him. There is a very slim chance that he will decide he wants more from you, and you don’t want to waste your time. You want what you want. So don’t settle. You’ll just be disappointed in the end. 

3. Observe his actions.  When you’re dating, sometimes fear of commitment or other hang–ups will show up when you get closer to someone. Make sure his actions match the words. You deserve someone who follows through, and you want someone you can depend on. If he’s making plans for several months down the road—“We should go to that concert together this summer”—then see what he does to follow through on that idea.  

Consider a reasonable time frame for moving forward, and stick with it.  So many women ask me what is an acceptable amount of time to go from dating to being exclusive to getting engaged to getting married. It’s whatever you feel comfortable with. As you age, you may tighten the time frame because you’ll spot the red flags faster. And yes, it’s OK to get married in 6 months, especially if everything is clicking.

Follow your gut. It’s called “women’s intuition” for a reason. It’s strong. It’s aligned with your truth. And it will never mislead you! 

Love, 

Jaki