• Home
  • About Jaki
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • Reviews
  • Member Login
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • YouTube
Logo Banner

Archive for Beliefs

Online Dating – Don’t be afraid of it! | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· March 9, 2021 

According to the hugely successful dating site eHarmony, more than 600,000 of their members have gotten married to people they met on the site. And that’s a stat from just ONE internet dating service!

Clearly, online dating isn’t going away anytime soon, and it can be a fantastic tool to use to practice your dating and conversation skills while you search for your “one and only.” You can learn how to use these sites to weed out poor matches and reel in the good ones! 

I admit I’m a fan – it was online that I met my husband. Trust me, there ARE quality men out there just waiting to connect with you!

“But Jaki,” I can hear you saying, “how do I figure out who’s on there for a relationship and who’s just there for a good time?”

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

Let me show you. 

  1. Ask more questions! This is the number one opportunity that women miss when contacting men online. If you see a photo of him standing with his skis, for instance, don’t comment on how beautiful the background scenery is! He’ll just respond with an “It sure was! Thanks!’ And you’re done. Instead, ask a question! How long has he been a skier? Or where does he like to ski? Then you’ve opened a dialogue, and after a bit of back and forth, you can say how nice it was to chat and sign off, leaving the door open for him to contact you again! And if he does, you know he’s interested.

 

  • You can pick dating sites that are more selective in their members and demand more transparency in the beginning about what type of relationship they want. Do your research! Don’t sign up for a “friends with benefits” type site if you want a “looking for a long-term partner” site! There is a site for everyone, n and starting where YOU want to ultimately land is of utmost importance. As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Don’t try meeting someone who’s clearly just out for a good time in the hopes that you’ll change their mind – it just doesn’t work that way.

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

  1. Be true to what you want in a partner and don’t settle. It may take a few go-rounds with some “Mr. Almosts” before you find THE one. You’ve set high standards for yourself in most areas of your life – why would you sell yourself short in this one? Take your time getting to know people. As I said before, the internet is a great way to practice flirting and banter in a low-risk environment via online chatting before deciding to meet in person (ALWAYS in a public place by the way!).

 

  1. Align your personal dating profile with your desire. Don’t try and attract someone by writing what you think men want. You have to start from an authentic place of what YOU want. This doesn’t mean you write “I want a ring within a year!” It means you think long and hard about how you want to be treated. What values are most important to you. The activities you enjoy that you want to share with someone special. Be confident in your choices. The more “into” your own life you are, the more the right guy will hone in on you. You show that you’re dynamic and interesting and not looking for a man to be the center of your life; rather, you want the perfect man to complement your life as it is!

 

I know the prospect of putting yourself out there can be intimidating. But online dating can open you up to a whole new world of possibilities. My advice? Pick a site that most closely aligns with what you want and try it out for a bit. Then if you’re not comfortable or feel like you’re not making good connections, take a week break. Then get back online!  

As always, I’m here to help. You’ve got nothing to lose!

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!

Categories : Beliefs, Dating, Relationships
Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

If You’re Post Divorce – Don’t Settle! | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· December 15, 2020 

I work with a lot of women who are looking at a new beginning, many because they are divorced. 

Starting over after a divorce can be hard emotionally, plus getting back into dating isn’t always a task we want to tackle. Your heart might still be pretty raw! 

On top of that, we may have underlying thoughts that make it difficult to put ourselves out there due to the breakup. We can be left wondering if we will ever find someone who is ready for a real relationship. Someone who will treat us the way we want to be treated. Or maybe we are worried about making another mistake!  

All that combined can be enough to make you want to join a convent—I’ve heard A LOT of women joke about that—or swear off men—yep, I’ve heard that one too!—but let’s look at it a different way.  

You already know what doesn’t work, and you have a better idea of what you’re looking for now that you’ve been through the battle! And we both know that money is a BIG issue after a divorce. Finding a man who is financially secure is important because, let’s face it, as a successful woman who has it all together, we want someone who is right there with us. 

One of the biggest issues in relationships can be finances. So if you feel a little nervous about looking for someone who has all their stuff together financially, don’t be! You’re not greedy. You’re not a princess. You just want someone who is your equal. And that’s awesome! 

Someone who doesn’t have direction or is always struggling to pay off credit cards or hasn’t bothered to save any money for the future isn’t someone you want as a partner, so don’t believe for a second that it’s ok to accept that. You know what you deserve, and that’s someone who has their finances together, just like you do! The total package is out there <name> so you don’t have to choose between desires!  

Don’t accept a date from a guy who isn’t on par with you just because a friend told you it’s time to get back in the game or because he has the most beautiful blue eyes or whatever! Know what you want, and don’t accept anything less! 

You’re amazing, and he should be too! 

Categories : All About You, Beliefs, Create the Life You Want, Dating, Relationships
Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

5 Secret Things Men Need from Women | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· November 17, 2020 
· 2 Comments

I admit it. I feel a little sorry for men sometimes.  

Let me explain.  

Even now, in the 21st century, cultural conditioning has led them to believe that they must fit into certain boxes of masculinity. Boxes that tell them things like 

“Be a man”  

And  

“Women like tough guys” 

And 

“Suck it up” 

In other words, men are taught to suppress their feelings, never be insecure, walk with confidence and swagger, and not EVER cry. 

Doesn’t that sound a bit harsh? Not to mention unfair. 

I think so. I also think that that’s why men NEED our feminine energy now more than ever! Our openness and empathy can help them let down their guard and release everything they have bottled up inside – and they need that! You can use this knowledge to make yourself irresistible. Here’s what you need to know. 

Take the Commitment Quiz to discover your number one relationship block! 

1. He wants you to like him for everything he IS, not everything he HAS. Acknowledge that you understand the pressure he’s under to provide. Know that he has a deep desire to be loved for things other than the material, and make sure you mention to him the non-material ways he fulfills you, emotionally, sexually, romantically – the list is vast. Remember, men want you to validate that their efforts are seen and appreciated. Just like women, they like compliments too. Just like women, they want to know that they are satisfying you. They won’t ask for this reinforcement, but if you give it, it will be returned to you a hundred times over. He will do more and give more of himself when he knows it makes a difference. 

2. Men have a natural need to PLEASE you. The stumbling block comes because men and women tend to value different things. Sometimes, what men do for women goes unnoticed or not commented upon because the action isn’t something women value. For instance, when was the last time you went gaga over your man cleaning your car? Take note of the things he does for you, even if you don’t think it’s a big deal. Even something as simple as commenting positively on their choice of restaurants is enough. Men LOVE to hear that they did a great job!  

3. Let him lead as often as you can. When a decision needs to be made, but the outcome isn’t really important to you, this is the perfect time to say yes to whatever he decides. Learn to surrender to his masculine side. I know this sounds wrong, but it’s actually a way to lean MORE into your feminine side, giving him a chance to take care of you the best way he knows how. A great example is if you’re planning a romantic getaway. All you care about is being with him and that there is a quiet beach. After that, let his imagination run wild! This is a fun and healthy way to let his masculinity take charge. (An unhealthy version of this is, for instance, letting him decide who your friends are, or when you can see your family or other things of that nature. Your gut will know the difference!) 

4. Give him permission to express how he’s feeling. You are his safe place to fall. When something bad happens in his life that makes him cry, it’s imperative that you let him experience these emotions. The best thing you can do for him is to hold him, and afterward kiss him passionately to let him know that he’s still your man, attractive and masculine. 

5. He wants you to meet him where he is, even if you’re not totally into it. This isn’t about subjects like marriage or children if you’re not ready. Think instead of a guy who loves golf. He comes home with a new, super-expensive driver that is supposed to improve his game dramatically. Instead of lecturing him about the expense and what will happen if his game DOESN’T improve, etc., you want to be excited with him and tell him you can’t wait to see his next scorecard! Please note, this tip doesn’t mean you lose yourself in HIS hobbies…you can be supportive of his interests while still tending to your own (men find this attractive, too). 

When it comes down to it, men and women are not really that different. We all have the same basic human needs to feel loved and appreciated, to express ourselves and our feelings.  

Give your man the space to do just that and he will give you his love and loyalty in return. And maybe a 3-carat diamond. 😉  

Take the Commitment Quiz to discover your number one relationship block! 

2 Comments
Categories : Beliefs, Feminine Essence, Relationships
Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

3 Fears that Sabotage Exclusive Relationships

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· November 5, 2020 
· 1 Comment

We enter relationships because we naturally yearn to share our lives with another. Still, something fascinating happens the minute we cross the threshold of commitment. We can sabotage the relationship unless we are prepared for what may surface once you’ve established you’re exclusive!

Now how do you cope with these common fears? Click below to watch the video now:

Take the CommittmentQuiz.com and discover what is keeping you from a committed relationship. 
1 Comment
Categories : All About You, Beliefs, Relationships
Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

How do we go on?

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· June 4, 2020 
· No Comments

Lean into Love

I’m just going to be honest. I’m not even sure what to write to you right now.

As I sit here, in my safe and beautiful home, I am more aware than I have ever been of this privileged life I live.

And as I watch with horror at what’s happening in our country, I am stuck.

Like a lot of people, I want to do something. But what?

I want to say something. But what?

I am the first to admit that I am NOT as educated as I need to be on the kind of oppression that black people in this country deal with every day and how so many people unknowingly contribute to it, and I am working on that.

In the meantime, what I WILL say is that I hope you will lean into love.

Not just romantic love. But ALL love.

Love for one another. Love for this world we all have to live in together. Love for the possibility of healing.

There are THOUSANDS Of people on this email list. So it’s safe to say that a big percentage of readers are directly affected by what’s happening in this country, by the racism and the riots.

My heart is with you. But I know that’s not enough.

I know that silence is complicity.

I know that uncomfortable conversations need to be had on a WIDE scale.

I guess what I’m writing to share with you is my commitment to having those conversations and learning about the things I don’t know and can never really understand.

I am committed to being here for you in any way that I can.

Stay safe. Stay hopeful. For one, I will be speaking up when the moment calls for it—pushing myself to an uncomfortable level of self-awareness if that’s what it takes.

And always, LEANING INTO LOVE.

Jaki

No Comments
Categories : Beliefs, Relationships
Tags : love, relationships, self-awareness, unity

Are you a Debbie Downer?

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· January 14, 2020 
· No Comments

You know “Debbie Downer” the Saturday Night Live character that frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a gathering thus bringing down the mood of everyone around them?

Do you find yourself getting discouraged from time to time and guilty of being a Debbie Downer?  Or perhaps you know a friend like this?

 

 

 

 

 

Do any of these thoughts ever cross your mind?

“There are no good men left.”

“There are only scammers online.”

“I’m I’ve been online for five months and only been on one date, what’s wrong with me?”

“My situation is complex because I’ve been on my own. I left my dream home and businesses and got almost nothing.”

“Things will never change, so why bother?”

“I’m probably going to be alone.”

“Men are only interested in one thing.”

“How will a high-quality man find value in me.”

What do all of these statements have in common?

They are coming from a place of scarcity, lack, fear, and victimhood.

They suggest that you don’t believe you are the creator of your life, but rather the victim of circumstances. But the reverse is actually true.

You are the creator of your love life.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

I want you to know being stuck in a victim frequency is a REALLY easy trap to fall into! You have suffered, and because of that, have come to believe that there are no good men out there or that if there ARE, they won’t notice you or want you.

When you are stuck in this victim frequency, it’s hard to think about taking risks and playing bigger in life. Heck, you can hardly get out of bed when you are stuck like this!

And, it’s so easy to fall prey to all the negative thinking because everyone around you seems to be getting what they want but you! Which just reinforces “you are not good enough.”

It’s exhausting, and eventually, you start believing that you are better off alone. But, you know down, that you are longing to share your life with someone.

And you will!

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

As soon as you start to focus on yourself and stop beating the drum of what you don’t want!

Your journey is of personal growth and begins with focusing on yourself and what you do want. Loving yourself is vital. You’ve got to stop looking for someone else to fill the space in you.

You are already complete. The man isn’t the answer; he’s the compliment. A bonus. The icing on the cake. When you are in victim mode, you send the message that the man is the answer and that’s a heavy burden that most men run from!

If you’re serious about a real Soulmate connection, your main goal is self-work, self-love, and self-acceptance. You will need to heal the hurt from the past and release its hold on you. This will help you hold healthy physical and emotional boundaries.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

When you have good boundaries, you will start to put your needs and wants above everyone else’s, and that will raise your self-esteem and self-respect!

Men will start noticing you and treating your different.

You here the negative put down swirling around in your head, Think about what you say to your best friend or sister or daughter if she were telling you these things about herself. Then rewrite the script would love

Cultivating a positive relationship with yourself is the building block for attracting your soulmate.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

Look at your life for ways you already feel love. Appreciate what is already there.

You don’t NEED to become a “whole new you” to attract a soulmate. Rather, it is time examine your individual patterns and discover what vibrational frequency you’re putting into the universe. It’s adjusting this frequency that can make the difference between attracting Mr. Right…or Mr. Ugh-I-Can’t-Believe-I’m-HERE-Again!

Start by using this forgiveness and gratitude exercise. It’s simple and only takes a few minutes. Repeat this sequence until you run out of things to fill in those blanks!

I forgive______________for____________________
I forgive myself for_________________________
I am so grateful for_________________________
I love________________________________________

In doing so, you’re releasing pain; inviting pleasure and sending a powerful message to the university you’re READY for love!

Love,

Jaki

PS: Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are!

No Comments
Categories : All About You, Beliefs, Confidence, Dating, Feminine Essence

Stop Chasing Men And Have Them Chase You!

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· May 28, 2019 
· No Comments

EAA 2 | Stop Chasing Men

 

Nothing is more thrilling in life than having a man chase you. It can be exciting, fun, mysterious, and scary. It just gets all the juices flowing. You definitely want to give a man a good chase for his money because men want to win. They want to win and they want to win you, and you can’t make it too easy for them because they’ll lose interest and find somebody else. Jaki shares some real-life skills that you need to learn and understand so you can stop chasing men and have them chase you instead.

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

—

Watch the episode here:

Stop Chasing Men And Have Them Chase You!

I’m creating these series for you to support you to calling in your soul mate. This is my favorite topic. I say that about everything I talk about, but I love this topic, how to stop chasing men and have them chasing you. Nothing is more thrilling in life than having a man chase you. It can be exciting, fun, mysterious, and scary. It just gets all the juices flowing, that’s for sure. You definitely want to give a man a good chase for his money because men want to win. They want to win and they want to win you, and you can’t make it too easy for them because then they’ll lose interest and they’ll find somebody else who will. It’s not a game. Nothing that I teach or the strategies that I talk about are games. These are real-life skills that you need to learn and understand how men aren’t much different than we are. If we cultivate our own feminine qualities in ourselves, then we can show up in a way that is a compliment to the man and that’s what he is looking for. He’s looking for that compliment.

Engage Them A Little Bit

I want to start off with a story. I’ll tell you about one of my clients and this is a great story. You’re going to love it. She was just newly divorced. Literally, the divorce papers came and she was very distraught and she had called me up and said, “I want to do a VIP weekend.” It was snowing and it was ski season and I knew that she skied and I said, “Why don’t we go up to Mammoth for a ski weekend so that I can support you?” I did that. I flew into where she was. We drove up to Mammoth and had a weekend skiing. She was newly single and I was her wing woman. We went out to a bar that night and it was packed full of men. The mountain was full. There were men everywhere and a couple of men came right up to us and started talking to both of us. This one man was interested in her. He was talking to her. I had already coached her on what to do. She was talking to him, but then what I told her to do is go ahead and engage them a little bit, but make sure you turn back and talk to me. Don’t just keep talking to him because that’s what she used to do.

She did that. She was talking to him. Then she turned her back and started talking to me. What happened was in that moment he started talking to his friend, but he was also looking over at us. What I want you to know here, if you’re out in a social setting, this can help. It’s okay to approach men or be approached by men. That’s okay, but you don’t want to overly engage them. This little strategy is if they come up to you or you go up to them, that’s okay. You can say, “I noticed that you guys came in with that big group. Are you here as a part of the convention?” or whatever is applicable. Then after you get a little connected, then you turn back to your friend and you re-engage her. What this does is it creates a little tension because you connected and then you did a takeaway, now you disconnect.

The way to really know if a man is interested in you is to see how much he pursues you. Click To Tweet

What this does and why this is important for you to know is that at that moment, this man now feels that disconnect. He feels that takeaway and men do not like that. They want to win. You just created a little challenge for him to re-engage you. If he doesn’t reengage you, then he’s either intimidated or he’s not interested or you didn’t give them enough of the signal. You definitely want to give them enough of a conversation where you talk a little bit and then turn back to your friend. This is what she did. She did it perfectly. She turned back to me, we were talking and then they re-engaged us. Then I knew it was game on. I knew the tension was gone. They were interested. They engaged us. They asked us to join them for dinner and it was snowing out. We went and sat down and had a little bite to eat with them. The long story short, by the end of the weekend, this man was smitten with my friend. I remember on the way driving back home, he was calling her cell phone and I said, “Don’t get the phone.”

She’s like, “What do you mean? I need to answer this phone. I like him. I want to see him again.” He lived in the same city that she did. I said, “That’s the whole thing. If you want to see him again, don’t answer the phone.” She was dying. She was like, “I have to answer this.” I’m like, “Don’t do it. You’ll kill the deal,” so she didn’t answer the phone. She’s like, “I just can’t believe anybody would do this.” I’m like, “That’s why I’m your coach.” Sure enough, it was a two-and-a-half-hour drive. By the time we got home, there was a voicemail from him saying that he wanted to talk with her. That he was going on a trip. He wants her to go with him. He had all these plans for her. That created a lot of tension.

The fact that she didn’t take his call, she was busy in the car with me and then she listened to the voicemail. The tension was on because not only did she not take the call, she didn’t call him back for several hours. Then she did return his call later that night and they had a great conversation. They ended up dating for about a year. It was good that she was following the coaching because what she wanted to do was engage them. She’s like, “These guys talk like us. Let’s continue to talk to them.” She would have made all those mistakes that maybe you’ve made in the past. I hope that little insight helps when you’re out and about. If you want to engage a man, follow that little tip.

EAA 2 | Stop Chasing Men

Stop Chasing Men: The key is to stay in a receiving mode. Lean back and let him come to you.

 

Some Things You Could Be Doing Without Even Realizing You’re Chasing Men

Some things that are not so subtle is when we’re chasing men, you might say, “I don’t chase men.” I might say, “I think you do.” Here are some things that are subtler that you could be doing without even realizing that you’re chasing men. If you’re out on a date or you work with somebody, you may offer to do something for him. You’re out on a date. Things are going well, you’re having a great conversation. He’s interested in knowing more about this meditation or a hobby that you have that is intriguing to him. You might say, “I’d be happy to send you the link for that or send you that information.” That is chasing right there. You just took the tension off. You’re now setting up to do something for him. You’re providing something for him. You’d taken away his job. He is the provider. At that moment, he wants to provide for you/ By you offering to do something for him, you’ve made it so that he can’t win. That’s a subtle thing that women do to chase men. It pushes men away. They don’t need you to send them a link. They’re interested because you’re passionate about it, not necessarily that they want to want to do it as well. That’s a big mistake that women make that think that they’re not chasing men.

Another thing that you can do that’s very subtle that doesn’t feel like chasing is unintentionally and accidentally inviting yourself to do things with him. Say you’re on a date again or you’re on the phone. This could happen on the phone easily. He’s talking about how much he loves sports and he’s going to the Padres game and you’re just in conversation. You’re not even aware that this comes out of your mouth. You might say, “I would love to go to the Padres game.” You’re chasing. He’s backing up now because now you’re chasing him. That’s the thing with backing up. There’s body language. When you lean in like that, he backs up. The key is to stay in this receiving mode that I’ve been talking about, leaning back, and letting him come to you. The answer to that question, if he’s talking about this game and he loves sports and he’s going on about the Padres or whatever, you say, “I love how passionate you are about sports. That is amazing. That’s interesting to me.” That’s it. You just show interest in it and then leave that question mark hanging there. You gave him a green light to ask you to go to a Padres game without inviting yourself. That’s how you get invited.

Another way that’s not so obvious is overstaying phone calls, texts, and in person. I have another client that made this fatal error and you might’ve done it yourself and I know we’ve all made these mistakes. She was asked out. It was the first date. It went extremely well. They went to a beautiful restaurant overlooking the ocean. It was a wonderful date with him at the restaurant and she was excited. She got home and emailed me and said, “I had such a fantastic time. He’s incredible.” Guess what? He didn’t call her back. As soon as she told me that she had spent five or six hours at this restaurant and they had an amazing time, 85% of me was saying he’s not going to call her back. Why didn’t he call her back if they had such an amazing time? He was having a good time and they connected. It’s because she was just too available. She had no place to go so she just stayed with him all day. Her stock went down at that moment. You had like all this stock when you show up in the date and increment by increment, your stock is dropping by your behavior and you unintentionally sabotage yourself because you don’t know this.

The big mistake that women make is not engaging in those instant messages in a more intimate way. Click To Tweet

Why Women Don’t Get Asked Out On Second Dates

What would have been a better scenario for her? Even if she was enjoying herself and he’s an amazing man is after two and a half hours, if it was amazing, after that say, “It’s been lovely. I’ve enjoyed this time. Thank you for the wonderful meal and I’ve got to get running. It was great. I’d love to do it again.” You’re letting him know that if he asks you out again, you would say yes. Then you get up and you leave and you let him watch you leave if it’s appropriate. Sometimes they’ll walk you to the door, walk you to the car and walk out to the valet. If you do walk out together and you’re going to the valet, even these little things, men pick up on all these little things. When your car comes, you just wave to him. “Bye. Thanks,” and you hop in your car and you don’t look back and you drive away. You need to keep the tension on. You need to keep him guessing just a little.

You’ve made it clear during the course of your time with him that you’re interested in him by your whole demeanor. By just getting in your car and driving away and not looking back, you’re keeping that tension on. Now, he’s interested in seeing you again. He’s excited about you because you remained a little bit mysterious. He wonders where you’re going and what you’re doing at that moment, but if you overstay on those dates or in phone conversations, you’ve answered so many questions for him. He loses interest. You’ve told them the whole story. There’s no reason to ask you out on a second date. It’s probably one of the biggest reasons that women don’t get asked out on second dates. There’s another reason why you don’t get asked on second dates and that’s because you lack boundaries. Boundaries are gold. They are gold and they’re hot. Men love a woman with healthy boundaries and it means having a little bit of sass. It doesn’t mean being cocky. That’s too strong of a word, but it’s being a little sassy.

Where that’s sass can come from? It’s from you knowing what you like and what you don’t like and not settling for doing something that you don’t want to do. In other words, it’s not being a yes woman, saying yes to everything. If you’re sitting there on a date and you’re saying, “Yes, that’s great. Yes, I agree with that. Sure. That’s fine. Order that”, yes to everything, he’s over there yawning. He can’t wait to get out of there. It’s boring and you’re not showing any individuality. You want to be agreeable. You think you’re being nice, but where you’re doing is shutting him down because he wants to know what your feelings are about things he’s interested in you.

EAA 2 | Stop Chasing Men

Stop Chasing Men: Give him the opportunity to like you. Don’t close the gap too soon that you’re not leaving any tension.

 

For example, you go into a restaurant and maybe he’s waiting there for you and he’s sitting at a table, but you noticed that there’s a booth available. I’ve done this before and you’d rather sit in the booth. It’s okay to go up and greet him, do your greeting and then say to him, “It’s kind of loud in here.” You can lean in a little and say, “If we moved over to that booth, do you think that would be okay?” At that moment, he gets to win. He gets to go out and find out if that booth is available and get that booth for you and if it is available, he’s going to get that booth for you. He just won and he’s your hero now and now you’re in the booth. You’re like, “This is much better. I can hear you so much better. Thank you so much.” It’s okay to do that. What’s not okay is to walk in and be like, “I don’t want to sit here. It’s not very comfortable,” and start complaining about it.

You want to involve him into your vision in a gentle way, but you can certainly redirect that table. That’s having a little confidence. It’s having a little sass. It’s definitely working on your boundaries and not being afraid to share your opinions. Stay away from politics and religion on dates. Let me give you some other examples. If you want a man to chase you, there are certain qualities that a woman possessed that all men find irresistible. They’re naturally going to chase you if you can cultivate these qualities in yourself. You already have all of these qualities. They’re just muscles that have atrophied because you haven’t been using them and maybe it’s because you’ve been spending too much time in your masculine energy and maybe it’s because you just haven’t practiced enough. It does work and it’s a more natural way for men and women to connect.

Lean Back Like A Queen On A Throne

I was saying just lean back. What we’re doing is we’re creating a space of love for a man to come into. Men love to come into a woman’s space of love, but you have to stay in that space because once you lean forward or try to take the lead, there’s no space because that blocks him from coming in. What that looks like is just leaning back in your chair with your body language, not leaning forward in the conversation. You could sit up and be animated like I am, but make sure that for the most part, your posture is relaxed and you’re leaning back and you’re smiling and it’s just being graceful. It’s having a grace about you. It’s showing qualities of unconditional love and acceptance. A man is looking for a woman who’s accepting especially with him. Men can tell when we’re judging. Say the guy shows up and he’s shorter than you thought he was going to be, or he has less hair or whatever is going on. It wasn’t something that you were prepared for. A woman who’s in her feminine energy is going to roll with that. It’s not going to bother her at all. She’s going to look at him and accept him because he’s another human being and you want to focus on the being, not necessarily the behaviors. You’re looking to show up in a more accepting way, a more loved-based approach to everything, leaning back and showing your intelligence, not leading with your intellect but you’re not dimming that light at all.

All of your mistakes in life have been lessons. If you learn from them, that can be the short path. Click To Tweet

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

It’s like a queen that sits on a throne. She’s gentle, she’s kind, and she’s empathetic. She’s listening. She’s a skilled communicator. It’s just a building up that inner queen that we all have in us. You just have to practice this by going on dates. I know a lot of women say, “I don’t want to do any practice dates,” but these men are willing to show up and give you the opportunity to practice on them. What if you make a couple of mistakes the first time? As soon as you notice you’re taking over, you can just lean back. I would recommend going on a couple of practice dates and practicing that skill. I do have a couple of questions that I wanted to answer. The first question is playing games. She said, “I hate playing games, but I feel like because I’m strong, confident, and know my own mind, I come on too strong. I’ve been told to let the guy do the chasing, play hard to get, but if I know what and who I want, I go for it and then scare them off. I need a better approach with guys that I’m interested in.” We already covered that. You do need a better approach because what you’re doing isn’t working. Men want to engage you. They want to do the chasing.

If you know you like a man, all the better. It isn’t a game, but if you like him, now you have to see if he likes you. That’s the thing. To answer this question, the problem is that you’re not giving him the opportunity to like you because you’re closing the gap too soon. You’re not leaving any tension. If you decide you like a guy, then you go for it. He hasn’t made up his mind if he likes you or not, and then you’re pursuing him and I can see why that would be a dead-end for you. You’re definitely leading with that pursuit energy. If you like a guy, that’s great. Lean back and see what he does because, in that moment of watching in the unknown, I know it’s uncomfortable because you’re out of your comfort zone and you feel vulnerable. In those moments, you will discover how he feels about you. That is the information that you need to know. You need to know how he feels about you, but you’re not going to find out if you pursue him because he’s going to run away. You’ll never know.

How To Know If He’s Interested In You

The way to know if a man is interested in you is to see how much he pursues you. Just like my client who turned away and then didn’t answer the call, these are all tests to see how interested he was. Men respond to no contact. I know that sounds crazy, but at the beginning of dating, you need to know right up front because I don’t want you to waste any time because I want you to get engaged at any age and time is precious. You need to know right up front where he stands. He will reveal who he is in the very first couple of hours, a couple of days right away if you give him that opportunity. What happens with women is we get afraid that we’re going to lose them or they’re going to get away. As soon as we think that they like us, then our impulse kicks in and now we’re leaning forward and we’re chasing and that’s how we sabotage it.

EAA 2 | Stop Chasing Men

Stop Chasing Men: If you’re serious about having a committed relationship, make that internal commitment to yourself to not have casual sex because you’re choosing something bigger for yourself.

 

Even if a guy starts out liking you, just like the woman at brunch, by the end of the day, she sabotaged the whole process because she had him on the hook, but then she left too much line. She didn’t create that tension so that she can reel him in. It’s an art. It’s a skill set that you can teach yourself, but you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone to do it. You have to be willing to do things that you haven’t done before in order for you to have what you want. Let’s look at another question. “If I’m messaging someone on Match, is it too forward for me to ask him to meet if he seems to just want to message?” “No.” In modern dating, it’s wonderful for you to tee it up. You’re not on a date. It’s totally acceptable, especially online to go ahead and say something because you don’t want to be in an instant message relationship. You don’t want an email or text relationship. What that would look like is if you notice something in his profile. He said, “I like walking on the beach as well.” You go share a couple of intimate details. If you want him to call you, the part about that instant message, it’s important that you reveal more intimacy so that he’s intrigued.

If he says, “I’ve been to the beach,” you’re instant messaging. He writes about himself, he’s been to this beach and he loves the sunset. I want you to write back, “I love the beach because I love to put my feet in the sand and I love the way that feels. It relaxes me.” At that moment it just gives me the feeling that everything in life is okay. At that moment, everything just seemed to gel for me. If you could just get real with him in an instant message and get more descriptive, paint a vision of what you’re like and the essence of who you are, he’s going to be very captivated by that. He might respond one more time, three back and forth, and then you can say, “I’d love to hear more about that. How do you suggest we move forward?” You just pass the ball over to him. You’re not asking them out, but you’re indirectly letting him know that you’d like to talk to him. Now, it’s up to him to respond to you. If he does not say, “Let’s jump on the phone,” you walk away. You just move on to the next one because you’ve put it all in his court and you’ve done it in a graceful way.

You only need the one and the right man. Click To Tweet

It’s not taking the masculine but you’re not on there to have an instant message relationship. You need to create the boundary that this is all you’re going to get. Create that intimacy. The tension is you need to call me now and set it up and then he’s going to get on the phone with you. Was that helpful? That’s confusing for women. The big mistake that women make is not engaging in those instant messages in a more intimate way. I’m not talking sexually. Be very careful here. Playful, sassy, and more intimate in terms of the details. How you’re feeling. Describe it. Describe food you like or why you like it and how it makes you feel and what turns you on. I’m not talking about sexual. I’m just talking about what lights you up, what you’re passionate about. Let that spill over to those instant messages that he’ll be intrigued by you that he’ll want to meet you.

Instant Gratification Versus The Law Of Germination

Let’s take one more question. “I find that intimacy develops too soon and that it’s a huge factor in my chasing a guy. He often backs off and become disinterested while I’m emotionally hooked. Often, a long time ago after a relationship ended, I’m still getting over an ex from a year ago. Even though I know it’s over, whenever I run into him, I still look to see if he misses me. I’m trying to detach, but it’s hard. Chasing stops when a woman is not interested. It’s hard to do when sex has already happened between them.” Absolutely it is because men don’t bond sexually when they have sex with a woman, but women do. That chemical bonding happens when we have sex with a man. That’s why I recommend, if you’re serious about having a committed relationship, then it’s time for you to make that internal commitment to yourself to not have casual sex because you’re choosing something bigger for yourself. It’s foregoing the instant gratification and invoking the law of germination. You’ve got to plant that seed and give it time to grow.

You need to abstain from that initially when you’re dating so that you can see the signals that he’s sending you because you’re giving her a lot of information before you sleep with him. The moment you sleep with him, you go unconscious, you don’t see the signals. You don’t see the flag flying because now you’ve emotionally bonded. It’s a whole different playing field. In her case, she never let him go because she doesn’t believe this is a belief that she’s going to meet anybody else. It comes down to your belief system. You have to look and see, “Because I don’t let go of this man, what do I do?” You look at all the consequences that are stacking up for not letting go. It’s anchored to a belief that somewhere along the line you picked up a belief that you’re not going to meet anybody else and you need to examine that. Stop that belief from continuing to perpetuate itself in your life. Because as long as you don’t release yourself from that belief system, you’re continuing to attract men by the law of attraction to highlight, to trigger that belief so that you can heal it.

That’s why we continue to attract men that aren’t emotionally available, that aren’t going to commit to us because it’s doing that in an attempt to get us to heal that belief system that’s not serving us. What we think is it all men are cheaters. All men leave, all men abandon us, but it’s the reflection of what we believe. This is exactly what I’m going to be teaching in my Bridge to Love Program. You need to get to the core, the root, or the origin of the problem. It is the short path to meeting your soul mate. It’s not the long path. The long path is going to continue to do what you’ve done and get the same result. That’s the long path. The long path that is also for you to look at your mistakes as mistakes. All of your mistakes in life have been lessons. If you learn from them, that can be the short path. Just give yourself a break right now. If you’re listening to this and you recognize that you’ve made some mistakes because when you beat yourself up about these mistakes, it drains your energy and you need that energy.

You need that energy because you need to unconditionally love and accept yourself more than you ever have before in this dating process because the more you love and accept yourself, the more a man will. As soon as you make a mistake, I want you to quickly forgive yourself, accept yourself, and move on. Do not let your mind beat you up because it’s a waste of time that drains energy and it and it will continue to perpetuate the cycle until you learn to stop doing that. This is all that I’m teaching you in the Bridge to Love program. There are incredible bonuses. We’ve got five weeks of jam-packed tools and information. I’m going to help you to take all of the knowledge that you’ve learned. The big problem I see with women is there are amazing women. You’re all are deep. You’ve read every book. You’ve watched every events, these interviews and you’ve done a lot of work. What can happen is you have a lot of intellectual knowledge, but without being able to apply that knowledge, it’s useless. Knowledge without action is useless. I’m all about the action. I’m an Aries, I’m a dragon, and I’ve always been about the action.

I love to take action. It’s easy for me because this part comes naturally for me and that’s why I’m the perfect mentor for you. I want you to just look at that. Think about what I’ve just said. Intellectual knowledge is useless unless you take action. This course is all about helping you to finally use all the information that you’ve gathered over the years. Some incredible wisdom that you have and help you to start to apply it in your life so that you can see the results you want. It’s instantaneous. This is called the fast track program. It is. That’s what I should have called it because I don’t want you to waste another moment going on dates that aren’t producing a relationship. I don’t want to spend any more time swiping or any more time sending out notes. There is a Law of Least Effort that you can invoke right now, and that’s learning these life skills. They’re universal laws of the universe. It’s like gravity. Gravity applies to all of us. If you step off the floor of the second building, we’re all going down.

The Law Of Cause And Effect

The Law of Cause and Effect, you reap what you sow. These Universal Laws, you need to understand what they are because they apply to you. Even if you don’t believe it, then you’re right, but they still apply to you. If you don’t believe in karma, karma still believes in you because it’s science. It’s energy. Likes attract likes. Whatever energy you’re vibrating out, “I’m never going to need a man. All men are jerks,” whatever that energy is, you’re going to be attracting those men in order to confirm that you’re right. There are no good men out there. All men are jerks. Once you heal that part of you, those belief systems, you raise your vibration. You raise your stock. You show up as a sassy queen who knows her worth and knows how to lean back because she trusts that the man is going to come to her. If he doesn’t, then he’s not your guy.

Believe me, you only need one and the right man and you may have been on this treadmill for years and I do not want you to give up because the right man will come along and you won’t have to guess. He will scoop you up so fast as soon as you can stay in the receiving position because that’s what he wants. What comes with the receiving position? What comes with that position is all this incredible juiciness, a lovely essence of who you are. That’s what a man wants to connect with. He doesn’t need to connect to your intellect. He wants to connect to your heart and that’s where he wants to live and he’s out there in the world slaying the dragons. You’ve got to stay in your castle and be the queen so he can be your hero. I know that sounds airy-fairy, but it is simple. It is a skill set that you need to learn and I’m just the girl to teach you.

Take a look at my Inner Circle Experience . This program will help you, to guide you and to see you get exactly what you want and get engaged at any age. I worked with women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, or 70s. We never stopped wanting love in our life. That yearning is never going to go away. Take the plunge, take the chance, and step out of your comfort zone. The energy of commitment is what you need right now. When you make a commitment to do something, the universe will rise up to meet you. The energy of committing to doing this work with me is making a statement. You’re making a declaration that I’m ready, and I’m going to do whatever it takes so that I can have what I want. I hope this was helpful. Don’t chase men. Ladies, you’re all so amazing. Your value cannot be quantified in jobs, degrees, titles, and in material possessions. Your value resides in you knowing who you are and when you understand that, you become powerful beyond belief and you will become irresistible. Thank you so much.

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!

No Comments
Categories : Attraction, Beliefs, Confidence, Create the Life You Want, Episodes, Relationships
Tags : committed relationship, connection, dating, engagement, intimacy, stop chasing men

How to Get a Second Date

Posted by Jaki Sabourin 
· May 10, 2019 
· No Comments

In this video I talk to you about:

How to Get a Second Date

Can you relate to feeling the tension, uncertainty, desire, and even the fear that comes up before a first date? Well how do you harness that so you get on a second date? I know your intention is to enjoy yourself and his company and to have fun. But it doesn’t always turn out like you hope. I want to share the common pitfalls that keep you from getting asked our again during my live coaching.

I will teach you how to overcome your fears and empower yourself so you can connect with men with grace and ease. This allows you to create a deep emotional connection that leads to a commitment!

These are some of the concepts I teach in my signature program Engaged at Any Age®. Just click here to schedule a call with me and discover if Engaged at Any Age® is right for you!

No Comments
Categories : Attraction, Beliefs, Confidence, Dating, Feminine Process, Relationships
Next Page »

SEARCH

Dating Profile – Writing Upgrade! To Help You Find Your Soulmate! Our Team of Experts will create an online dating profile that will stand out from the crowd and attract more messages, matches and dates! Click here to learn more

Categories

  • All About You
  • Attraction
  • Beliefs
  • Confidence
  • Create the Life You Want
  • Dating
  • Episodes
  • Feminine Essence
  • Feminine Process
  • Relationships

Terms of Service

Engaged At Any Age
Copyright © 2022 All Rights Reserved
Website design