Confidence Archives | Engaged At Any Age

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Stop Selling Yourself Short! | Engaged at Any Age

· February 16, 2021

Something has been puzzling me. Why do I know so many women who won’t settle for less than the best in everything they do – caring for their family, their career, how they present themselves to the world – yet will continue to make excuses for the men they date who continually disappoint them?

I had a friend who, in her 20’s, had a boyfriend who would call her on the spur of the moment, and she would jump at the chance to spend time with him even though he hadn’t given her any notice. His birthday gift to her one year was a collection of stuffed animals from a smoky bar’s “claw machine,” and they smelled like it too. She explained away this kind of thoughtlessness by saying he was so busy, he was saving his money for a house, etc. etc. etc. Mind you, this was a woman who had a graduate degree, a good job, great looks – the whole package. She was (is!) thoughtful and kind and would never treat anyone the way this guy treated her. Yet she hung on for several years, thinking she would be the one to change his behavior. Spoiler alert – she didn’t.

Click here to take the soulmate assessment and find out what vibe you’re sending out!

No matter how many times her friends and family told her he was not good for her, it wasn’t until she finally realized she was worth more than that she finally cut him loose.

It’s one thing to put up with that kind of behavior from a man when you’re young and naïve. Quite another to be in your 40’s or beyond, mature, successful and accomplished!

I want to challenge you this year to honor the woman you are today!

Raise both your standards and your self-esteem by refusing to spend your precious time on men who clearly aren’t interested in a long-term, mutually beneficial and authentic relationship. Look closely at your dating pattern. Does any of this behavior sound familiar in your partners, past or present? If so…time to re-examine!

He always wants you to come to him – meeting at the restaurant near him or driving his way for the evening.
He has no interest in planning anything to delight or surprise you, let alone impress you, with a date (in fact, often says, “Whatever you feel like doing is fine”)
He sees you when it’s convenient – for HIM
He is hesitant to introduce you to his friends, let alone his family
Your last “gift” was clearly purchased thoughtlessly and at the last minute (or worse, your birthday/anniversary/big promotion was forgotten altogether!)

If you saw a friend dealing with this kind of garbage in her relationship, wouldn’t you be fed up for her? Wouldn’t you tell her to move on? Of course you would.

Be a friend to yourself and repeat that you deserve nothing less than the best. Then start working on finding it!

Click here to take the soulmate assessment and find out what vibe you’re sending out!

Categories : All About You, Confidence, Dating, Relationships

Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

How to Stop from Getting Friend Zoned | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· January 19, 2021

I’ll never forget the night a friend of mine came to me in tears! She had been at happy hour with a man she had a huge crush, listening to him talk about his day, fantasizing about what it might be like to be married to him when all of the sudden he said the thing that broke her heart. “Oh Amy,” he said tenderly and genuinely, “you are SUCH a good friend.”

OUCH!

Here she was, wedding planning in her mind while the whole time he was thinking of her as a buddy. It’s so disheartening and honestly it can make a woman question herself, her worth, even her femininity!

Here are three things you can do to avoid getting boxed into the friend zone!

Avoid talking to much about frivolous things– This is the number one thing that causes a man to see you as a friend. Women make the mistake of thinking men love to hear all about you, your life, your thoughts, your plans, your outfits. You get the idea. If you’re constantly asking for his advice or giving HIM advice, he’ll start to see you as a sounding board, not a potential romantic partner.
Wear dresses – Dial up your outfits if you feel you’re getting friend zoned. When you put on a dress it immediately separates you from your guy’s other friends. Dresses scream “WOMAN” and men love them. You’ll feel more feminine and he’ll feel more masculine and he will see you as a lady and not a friend. This works like magic. I know it’s sounds simple but try it and watch what happens!
Avoid Over sharing – This is a huge problem when dating and it’s about boundaries. When you over share not only is it a turn off but you’ve taking away a very important aspect of attraction! Mystery and intrigue. They may listen but they could lose respect for you and tune you out. Save the oversharing for your girlfriends

I’ll never tell you to be fake, but who doesn’t appreciate a little extra effort. Turn up the charm, send those attraction signals and you’ll quickly shift from buddy to BABE!

Go here to join my Free Ladies Club Facebook group and you’ll always have someone to talk to, someone who shares your goals and dreams and wants you to succeed!

Categories : All About You, Attraction, Confidence, Dating, Relationships

Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

New Year, New You | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· January 5, 2021

This isn’t going to be one of those posts that encourages you to throw out the old you and do something totally different. And it’s not to push you to do things that feel completely foreign and make you soooo uncomfortable.

What I want to suggest though, is that you look at the possibility of being a “new you” as adding to what’s already wonderful! You are amazing exactly as you are, and I want you to know that. But I also want you to know that everyone has something that they would like to change. And acknowledging that and working toward a change for the better is wonderful!

Go here to join my Free Ladies Club Facebook group and you’ll always have someone to talk to, someone who shares your goals and dreams and wants you to succeed!

So, let’s start in that direction by looking at the one thing that you probably have had on your list for a long time: you want to build a strong, healthy relationship with the man you’ve been looking for. Great! Here are three ways that you can make changes for the better, small changes, that can help you call him into your life this year.

Practice gratitude. It’s amazing the difference practicing gratitude makes in your life! And I don’t just mean telling someone “thanks” for holding the door. Really sit in this feeling of gratitude. In the quiet moments, reflect on all the people and things in your life that you truly appreciate. Supportive friends, never-ending summer (hey, that’s real for some people!), your favorite food, even the way the sun shines through the windows of your living room. When you appreciate the little things, you call in more to be thankful for. Even the stuff that you may not appreciate normally like being caught in traffic are an opportunity for gratitude! If you’re in traffic, you have to slow down, and that’s a chance to take a deep breath and relax. Be thankful for new things this year!
Be spontaneous. If you always have to book things weeks in advance, then this is definitely for you! Leave a little space in your calendar for being spontaneous. If the mood seizes you, call some girlfriends for lunch, ask a friend to meet you for drinks, head to a new part of town with your cousin. And remember: you’re also leaving space for someone to ask you, “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
Try one new thing. New things don’t stick if they are jarring and uncomfortable, so start small. Make a list of things that you would like to try or that you think you would enjoy, and just pick one to do. It doesn’t have to be anything outlandish. It could be as simple as jogging on a new trail or stopping by an organic-only grocery store. Expanding your idea of what works in your life opens you up to stretch your comfort zone in new ways, which makes it easy to welcome in someone new.

When you feel like a whole new you full of gratitude, trying new things, and ready to be spontaneous, you’ll find yourself enjoying life more and more! And what’s more attractive than a woman having a blast just being herself?

I’d love to have the opportunity to get to support you and know you better this year. If you haven’t joined the Ladies Club, Click here to join. You’ll be embraced by our community of like-minded women, who like you, are on the Journey to their Soulmate.

Sending you so much love!

PS: Go here to join my Free Ladies Club Facebook group and you’ll always have someone to talk to, someone who shares your goals and dreams and wants you to succeed!

Categories : All About You, Confidence

Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

2021 – It’s All About Authenticity! | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· December 1, 2020

Can you believe this year is almost behind us?

I admit, at times it has felt more like a decade, than a year! But we all have persevered, and there are still good times ahead.

One thing 2020 has taught us is that our lives are unpredictable. One thing you can always have to fall back on when the world is going crazy is your own sense of self. I can’t tell you how important being true to yourself is, both for your own mental health AND in the pursuit of finding the ONE.

When you are comfortable deep down with you who are, that shines through every fiber of your being! It becomes almost effortless to show the world that you are a high-value woman who is full of unshakeable confidence. Do you have any idea how attractive that is to quality men? Spoiler alert – it’s through the roof!

Good men are looking for an equal. A quality man wants a woman who is excited about things in her own life, not just in his. He wants to be proud of the radiant light that shines from WITHIN you.

2020 took us all to the edge, but there is a gift in that. When life turned upside down, we were given an opportunity to really think about what’s important to us, what we want, what we no longer have room for, what we refuse to live without!

So really think about that!

If 2020 shut down life and wiped the slate clean, what do you want to create next year? Who do you want to be? What will you no longer tolerate? What will now get your focus?

I urge you to look within in the coming weeks and see if you’re living a life that feels authentic to you. If there are areas where you feel like you’re just keeping up appearances, it’s time to think about ditching them! Life is just too short (and too complicated!) to spend it juggling a bunch of things that just don’t serve who you really are.

The goal isn’t perfection. Rather, it’s about being proud of your values, your work, your hobbies, your interests…and not apologizing for any of it.

Try it! You may find yourself with not only a fabulous new attitude, but a fabulous new man, as well!

Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Essence

Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

Combat the Holiday Blues! | Engaged at Any Age

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· November 24, 2020

The holidays might look different, but the desire to share them is the same!

Pandemic or no pandemic, the holidays are coming!

And even though the celebratory social whirl that comes along with that might not be the same this year, the messages we receive are the same – among them, that the holidays are a time of romantic and joyful togetherness. It’s in our social media feeds, Hallmark movies, and commercials. And it can be relentless. I’d say that this is the hardest time of the year to be single.

I remember many Decembers myself where I longed for someone special to curl up with me and watch cozy holiday specials by the fire or meet me under the mistletoe.

That’s why I’m using this space today to share some ways to beat the holiday blues and enjoy the season. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in your mindset to change things around!

You can use this special time of the year, in fact, to practice extra self-care and give yourself extra love. Relax, recharge, and share your joy with others (even if it’s through Zoom!).

To avoid feelings of loneliness:

1. Stay in touch with potential quality men you meet online. The holidays themselves are a great source of conversation topics! Special childhood memories, crazy traditions, hopes for 2021, favorite holiday treats…the list is endless. With COVID limiting dating, it’s actually less pressure on a budding relationship through this time of year! You can enjoy someone’s virtual company without the added stress of “do I buy him a gift?” or “do I ask him to dinner with my family,” etc. etc.! Put on a gorgeous top, have a glass of eggnog, and continue getting to know some people! You may be busier in the new year than you can even handle!

(An addendum to this is, show up for any Zoom “parties” you might be invited to. You just never know when a great guy will be in one of those little squares! And if not, it’s so easy to sign off.)

2. Take advantage of the free time you may now have in your schedule to cater to one person – you. It’s natural to be disappointed when long-anticipated parties or events are canceled but maybe you’re also a little relieved! Read that novel on your nightstand. Cook yourself your favorite meal. Nap. Work out. Meditate. Clean your closet. Ask yourself what would make you feel happiest – and do those things!

3. Remember that this too shall pass. Meaning both the pandemic and your single state. It’s hard to be patient in the face of the unknown, when there is no firm answer to the age-old question of “WHEN???” Keep your eyes focused forward and keep working towards your goal of finding that special someone. Remember, he’s out there somewhere in the same boat as you, wondering when you will arrive, and how, and hoping that next year he will be kissing you at midnight on New Year’s Eve!

You can be by yourself without feeling totally alone or full of self-pity. It’s ok to have some moments of doubt, of course, but try to limit them! You are so very special, and there IS a man out there who deserves you.

BONUS TIP-

Wanting is the opposite of HAVING.

So, focus on gratitude for what you DO have this holiday season and you will raise your manifesting ability sky high!

Cheers!

Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Process

Tags : Affection, attract your ideal man, confidence, dating, fall madly in love, feminine energy

Are you a Debbie Downer?

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· January 14, 2020

· No Comments

You know “Debbie Downer” the Saturday Night Live character that frequently adds bad news and negative feelings to a gathering thus bringing down the mood of everyone around them?

Do you find yourself getting discouraged from time to time and guilty of being a Debbie Downer? Or perhaps you know a friend like this?

Do any of these thoughts ever cross your mind?

“There are no good men left.”

“There are only scammers online.”

“I’m I’ve been online for five months and only been on one date, what’s wrong with me?”

“My situation is complex because I’ve been on my own. I left my dream home and businesses and got almost nothing.”

“Things will never change, so why bother?”

“I’m probably going to be alone.”

“Men are only interested in one thing.”

“How will a high-quality man find value in me.”

What do all of these statements have in common?

They are coming from a place of scarcity, lack, fear, and victimhood.

They suggest that you don’t believe you are the creator of your life, but rather the victim of circumstances. But the reverse is actually true.

You are the creator of your love life.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

I want you to know being stuck in a victim frequency is a REALLY easy trap to fall into! You have suffered, and because of that, have come to believe that there are no good men out there or that if there ARE, they won’t notice you or want you.

When you are stuck in this victim frequency, it’s hard to think about taking risks and playing bigger in life. Heck, you can hardly get out of bed when you are stuck like this!

And, it’s so easy to fall prey to all the negative thinking because everyone around you seems to be getting what they want but you! Which just reinforces “you are not good enough.”

It’s exhausting, and eventually, you start believing that you are better off alone. But, you know down, that you are longing to share your life with someone.

And you will!

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

As soon as you start to focus on yourself and stop beating the drum of what you don’t want!

Your journey is of personal growth and begins with focusing on yourself and what you do want. Loving yourself is vital. You’ve got to stop looking for someone else to fill the space in you.

You are already complete. The man isn’t the answer; he’s the compliment. A bonus. The icing on the cake. When you are in victim mode, you send the message that the man is the answer and that’s a heavy burden that most men run from!

If you’re serious about a real Soulmate connection, your main goal is self-work, self-love, and self-acceptance. You will need to heal the hurt from the past and release its hold on you. This will help you hold healthy physical and emotional boundaries.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

When you have good boundaries, you will start to put your needs and wants above everyone else’s, and that will raise your self-esteem and self-respect!

Men will start noticing you and treating your different.

You here the negative put down swirling around in your head, Think about what you say to your best friend or sister or daughter if she were telling you these things about herself. Then rewrite the script would love

Cultivating a positive relationship with yourself is the building block for attracting your soulmate.

(Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are! )

Look at your life for ways you already feel love. Appreciate what is already there.

You don’t NEED to become a “whole new you” to attract a soulmate. Rather, it is time examine your individual patterns and discover what vibrational frequency you’re putting into the universe. It’s adjusting this frequency that can make the difference between attracting Mr. Right…or Mr. Ugh-I-Can’t-Believe-I’m-HERE-Again!

Start by using this forgiveness and gratitude exercise. It’s simple and only takes a few minutes. Repeat this sequence until you run out of things to fill in those blanks!

I forgive______________for____________________
I forgive myself for_________________________
I am so grateful for_________________________
I love________________________________________

In doing so, you’re releasing pain; inviting pleasure and sending a powerful message to the university you’re READY for love!

Love,

Jaki

PS: Click here to take the Love Forecast and find out what’s in store for your love life and who your celebrity Soul Sisters are!

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Categories : All About You, Beliefs, Confidence, Dating, Feminine Essence

New Year, New You!

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· December 31, 2019

· No Comments

So let’s start in that direction by looking at the one thing that you probably have had on your list for a long time: you want to build a strong, healthy relationship with the man you’ve been looking for. Great! Here are three ways that you can make changes for the better, small changes, that can help you call him into your life this year.

Practice gratitude. It’s amazing the difference practicing gratitude makes in your life! And I don’t just mean telling someone “thanks” for holding the door. Really sit in this feeling of gratitude. In the quiet moments, reflect on all the people and things in your life that you truly appreciate. Supportive friends, never-ending summer (hey, that’s real for some people!), your favorite food, even the way the sun shines through the windows of your living room. When you appreciate the little things, you call in more to be thankful for. Even the stuff that you may not appreciate normally like being caught in traffic are an opportunity for gratitude! If you’re in traffic, you have to slow down, and that’s a chance to take a deep breath and relax. Be thankful for new things this year!
Be spontaneous. If you always have to book things weeks in advance, then this is definitely for you! Leave a little space in your calendar for being spontaneous. If the mood seizes you, call some girlfriends for lunch, ask a friend to meet you for drinks, head to a new part of town with your cousin. And remember: you’re also leaving space for someone to ask you, “Can I take you to dinner tonight?”
Try one new thing. New things don’t stick if they are jarring and uncomfortable, so start small. Make a list of things that you would like to try or that you think you would enjoy, and just pick one to do. It doesn’t have to be anything outlandish. It could be as simple as jogging on a new trail or stopping by an organic-only grocery store. Expanding your idea of what works in your life opens you up to stretch your comfort zone in new ways, which makes it easy to welcome in someone new.

I have something exciting coming up that I can’t wait to share it with you. Join my email list to make sure you get the notification because you won’t want to miss it!

Love,

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Attraction, Confidence, Create the Life You Want, Feminine Essence

Tags : confidence, dating, feminine energy, happiness is attractive

Week 5 The Wrap Party

Posted by Jaki Sabourin

· September 3, 2019

· No Comments

You’ve seen her. She’s walking down the street by herself. A swing in her step. A radiant smile on her face. Not a care in the world.

Everyone notices her because in a sea of people rushing to work while looking at their phones, this woman is HAPPY.

She’s enjoying the moment. She’s engaged with life. She’s present and grateful, and it shows!

The most attractive people on this earth are the ones who are madly in love with their LIFE! Everyone wants to be around someone who is positive, fun and passionate!

That characteristic stems from a healthy self-worth and a true appreciation of our CURRENT REALITY.

I remember a time when I was so sad. I had pretty much given up on love. All I could think about was the fact that I had failed at love and even though quite a bit of time had passed, I was STILL alone! My focus seemed to be on everything I didn’t have. And not surprisingly, that just made me feel worse. Gloomy. Not at all like the woman I described above!

Then I realized something. One night, as I sat outside by the ocean, I felt extreme gratitude for the beauty of that moment. And I realized how blessed I was. Alone for the moment, yes. But extraordinarily blessed.

I started LIVING. And it didn’t take long for a handsome, dashing man named Michael to take notice. He has always said that he noticed my spark and my energy first! Less than two years from that night at the ocean, we were married.

Love your life NOW, exactly as it is and you will find that people can’t take their eyes off of you!

Here are just a few ways you can squeeze joy out of life and flip your attraction switch to “ON!”

Be endlessly curious. Always keep learning. Ask questions. Engage in deep and interesting conversations!
Take a class. There has to be something that you’ve always wanted to try. Painting, sewing, mountain climbing, whatever! Get out there and test your limits with a group of like-minded people!
Learn a foreign language. You don’t have to become fluent. Just pick a language and learn to say “hello,” “goodbye,” “I love you,” and “wow, you’re handsome!”
Take a trip to somewhere you’ve never been. Go to a local map, close your eyes and point. Not only is this a great way to meet new people, but it will prove to you that you are an adventurer!
Make a blessings list. List everything in your life that you are grateful for. Your health, your clothes, the roof over your heard, your shiny hair, your genius IQ, etc. Gratitude is a POWERFUL catalyst for joy!
Make a list of all the things you can do now that you could NOT do in a relationship. What’s actually great about being single?

Here are just a few things that my clients have said:

I currently have full control over the TV remote!

I can spend a Sunday in sweat pants and not worry about anyone seeing me!

I miss sex, but for now, it’s nice to be able to take up the entire bed with NO pressure to perform!

Cooking for one! And sometimes it’s cereal for dinner!

I have NO schedule and no one to answer to. If I want to make last minute happy hour plans with the girls, or workout after work, I can!

Your turn! Take a minute to reflect on your day to day to life. What do you love to do now that might be tricky if you were in a relationship?

This exercise is just one more way to help you feel grateful and blessed and happy. And as you might remember, a happy, radiant, grateful woman is absolutely irresistible!

Congratulations. You’ve taken the 5-Week Summer Love Party Challenge. You’ve laid the fertile soil for love to grow. You have cleared your energy, opened your heart and built the foundation for a solid, committed, blissful relationship.

Practice these 5 things daily. Embody them. Live them! And soon, without even realizing how easy it was, you’ll fall madly in love.

Thank you for spending this time with me!

Much love,

Jaki

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Categories : All About You, Confidence, Feminine Essence