Years ago, when I was newly divorced, I spent many nights sitting alone on my couch feeling despondent and sure that I would never find love again. In fact, there were many times I didn’t even think I WANTED to find love again! I had been so let down and it was hard for me to trust that there were men out there who wouldn’t break my heart.
Is that where you are right now? Maybe you’ve had one too many heartbreaks lately and are having a hard time believing in love. If this IS how you’re feeling, my heart goes out to you. It’s such a hard place to be.
But that’s why I’m writing this – I want to help you break free from this pattern of thinking. Your true love is out there trying to find you, but you have to help ease his path to your door.
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Some things you can do to get back to believing again:
- Acknowledge what’s hurt you in the past. Whether it was cheating, or being talked down to, or feeling like you weren’t a priority, bring it out and think about it. But also think about other times when you met or dated some “good guys” with whom things didn’t ultimately click. Your goal is to remember that there are good ones out there…you just need to find the one who DOES click with you!
Also remind yourself that what happened to you is not a reflection of your worth but rather a reflection of the other person’s inability to love. Period! It was THEM, not YOU.
- Change your mind. Plain and simple. You can choose to be miserable, or you can choose to be happy!
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- Romance yourself. Stop negative self-talk and tell yourself you’re worthy of everything you desire. Treat yourself to some beautiful flowers, delicious chocolates, a spa day…whatever is going to make you feel special. It’ll become a habit that will signal to yourself you’re someone who is deserving of good things.
- Let go of your fear. When we’ve been on the losing end of a relationship, it HURTS! It hurts so much, in fact, that the next time we have a chance with someone that pain turns into something else – fear. Fear of being hurt again, of feeling a fool, of repeating the same mistakes. But do you want to keep your heart completely safe at the risk of never falling in love again? I would hope that thought scares you more than any of the other love-based fears you’re harboring!
- Give someone a chance. In other words, be a little less picky (a little!). It’s virtually impossible to find a man who ticks off all the boxes, so to speak. Maybe you’ve met a quality guy who’s shorter than you are, and that doesn’t at first thought work for you. Does that have to be a deal breaker? Instead of dismissing him, why not get to know him? You might find other qualities in him that can’t be measured with a yardstick.
- Recommit to why you want love in your life. Maybe you’ve been easing off on checking your dating profiles, or letting messages languish. It’s ok to take some time off to just be you, but if you’re sliding from “taking a break” into “it all just seems too complicated,” it’s time to rethink things! Take a stand that you’re still worthy of love, that you deserve to be happy, and get back in the game!
Your perfect man won’t be able to connect with you if you shut yourself off from the world. It’s time to get off the couch and go after the love you’ve been waiting for!
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