I know a lot of women out there think there are no good men left!

I hear it all the time.

What happened to the man making the first move? Why don’t they approach me?

Well, it could be the signals you’re sending!

Here are 5 simple ways to meet great men in real life.

1. Create free time – If your schedule is so packed with work and trips and family that you cannot put yourself out there, things need to change. Create free time on your calendar. Literally, pencil in time to put yourself out there with the sole intention of meeting some men. Sometimes it means saying no to invitations. If you keep getting invited places with couples and you’re the only single one, say no and head out yourself!

They say that the universe will provide but you’ve got to make SPACE for it. (One friend of mine cleared out half of her drawers in anticipation of a man someday living with her and believe it or not, within 6 months she had met that man!)

2. Look unoccupied– Stop looking so darn busy! A man will not approach you if he feels like he is bothering or interrupting you. So, if you’re at a coffee shop don’t keep your head down and look at your phone the whole time. Look around! Make eye contact!

If you look unoccupied, you appear OPEN to company.

3. Become more visible– You can’t be stuck in a herd, hidden in the middle of a group of women, and expect to meet a man. Men are intimated by groups of women. Stand by yourself! Smile, look around, and choose a table out in the open instead of the corner. Maybe even wear brighter colors and stand out a bit! And of course, get out of the house! Volunteer at festivals, get online and find out what happens in your city this weekend and be there ready to mingle!

4. Move closer– Where are the men? Wherever they are, move closer! If there is a group of men near a window, position yourself closer to them. It sounds so simple but so many women just don’t do it. Walk by the group, smile! Yes, it’s bold but it works.

5. Give him a clear signal– This is by far the BEST signal you can give if you see a guy you’re interested in. Smile and make eye contact. But take it a step further and HOLD the eye contact for 5 seconds. If you do that, he will figure out that what you’re actually doing is sending an invitation. It might feel awkward but give it a go. That is the easiest way to get a man to talk to you. If it doesn’t work, that’s ok. He may be married or have a girlfriend, or maybe he’s gay, who knows! Don’t take it personally. Keep practicing that and you’ll find yourself talking to more men than ever before.

This isn’t about wishing and hoping. I created this business to put WOMEN in the driver’s seat. You can consciously create the love of your dreams. Tap into your Goddess confidence and go get your man!

💖Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

Have you ever found yourself making sure everyone around you is happy and taken care of even when it means you are NOT!?!

This is so common for women.

Most of us were raised to be people pleasers. We grew up realizing that we were expected to make everyone else comfortable! I watched my mother do this her whole life.

Whether it was a friend or a man, she catered, and because of that, I learned to cater too!

It might sound counterintuitive, but putting everyone else is not “kindness.” In fact, it’s often a form of self-sabotage.

You see when you spend your life orbiting around other people’s suns, you might tell yourself that you just like to help, but eventually, you end up resentful!

It’s martyr syndrome!

Here’s an example.

Have you ever had a friend who seemed to be in crisis a lot? And even if that friend didn’t ask for a lot of help from you, you found yourself calling her often, bringing her dinner, offering to help out, and constantly checking in with her until one day you have HAD IT!

And that’s the day you lose it on her or talk about her to someone else because you feel the relationship is one-sided.

I hate to tell you this, but that’s on YOU! And you’re not alone.

When we learn to orbit around the suns of others instead of our own, we are on the fast path to resentment and regret.

This is especially true in romantic relationships.

But shouldn’t I want to make my man happy?

Yes. But not at the expense of yourself. Not if making him happy causes you to ignore and betray your own needs and certainly not if deep down your acts of kindness of conditional and require reciprocity!

This isn’t your fault. When you’re doing this it’s a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. You hope that if you just give and give and give, this person will never leave you.

You hope that if you meet their needs, you’ll never have to feel the shame of not being enough to them. This is so disempowering.

You are already enough! And you never need to betray yourself to keep a friend OR a man.

The best way to STOP this pattern in its tracks is to take a deep breath and tune into your heart, which is in this case, your sun.

Ask yourself “What is my intention here? Why am I doing this?”

When your intention is clear and unconditional, go for it! Buy the gift, make the call, and help the friend!

But if you tune in and can honestly admit that there is some ulterior motive, even if that motive is just to avoid abandonment, keep yourself in check!

This is something my private clients and I go DEEP with because most of the women who come to me are successful in every other area of their lives but have decades of people-pleasing programming to release. And it’s POWERFUL once you do!

I take a few private clients per year. If you’d like to learn more about how to work with me privately, click here.

Love,

Me and Michael at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club

Here’s the thing about men- we often make them more complicated than they are!

I’m not saying that men don’t have any depth, but their needs and wants are usually pretty simple!

And sometimes, we try to guess what they want, and we get it dead wrong. So why guess? I’ve asked Michael what turns men on and what turns them OFF. Below are the top six things that repel men. Believe these. Believe and avoid!

1. Talking too much – This can happen when you are nervous and it’s the fastest way to get friend-zoned. Don’t make the mistake of sharing every little detail with him. He may be acting like he’s listening, but inside he’s checking out. Not only will he start having visions of a life FILLED with your endless chatter, but one thing men DO find attractive is a little mystery! And you’re not leaving any mystery if you talk non-stop. Men like a little bit of an adventure. They want to explore you. So leave something to be explored and save the chit-chat for your girlfriend.

2. Too Much makeup – The natural look is best. I’m not saying you can’t wear anything at all, we all like to enhance what we’ve got, but overdone makeup, (like drawn-on eyebrows), too much eye shadow, or bright lipstick is a turnoff. Men love the more natural look because they like to know that they are seeing the real you. Here’s the bottom line- if you’re embarrassed to have a man see you without your makeup, you’re wearing too much!

3. Brown or dingy teeth – This might seem obvious, but as we get older, our teeth show it as much as the tiny lines around our eyes! And sometimes, we are just so used to looking at ourselves in the mirror that we just don’t see it. Use whitening strips regularly, especially if you drink coffee or red wine. Your smile is your calling card.

4. Dressing too sexy – What!? I know, conventional wisdom says that men like a woman in a skimpy dress. But that’s not actually true. The trick is to show skin that is not as obviously sexy. Like, for instance, wearing an off-the-shoulder top or cold shoulder top. Definitely, no thongs showing out of your jeans and no bra straps showing. Keep the undergarments under! You also want to avoid showing too much cleavage or too much leg. Remember, you want to pique his interest but leave a few things to his imagination!

5. Swearing – Do not swear like a truck driver on dates. He’ll be running for the hills. Never ever use an “F” bomb. You want to be seen as a lady, not his biker buddy. Of course, you’re not expected to completely edit yourself, but you do want to be mindful of this. Especially at first. Speak as though his mother (or yours) is listening!

It’s not that hard. Look good, speak right, and be a little mysterious. I want to be clear, I am not asking you to be fake, just mindful. You would want the same in return!

Love,

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receive advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

How you do one thing is how you do all things! 

Spring being in the air never fails to give me a sense of hope and renewal! To that end, I decided recently to undergo a 21-day cleanse to give my body a reset. Little did I know it would help reset my mind, too!  I’ll be kicking up my heels on Maui tomorrow, but for the first ten days of the program, I pretty much ate fruits and veggies only, staying hydrated with water. I was able to add in fish protein for the final week and WOW, I love seafood but I have never been so happy to eat it! To adhere to such a strict plan, even for just 3 weeks, was tough.

It was a real commitment to stay with it! But it was that commitment that helped me stay on track and keep my word to myself.  I wanted to do this to feel fresh and renewed at the end of the 3 weeks. I’m happy to say, in spite of being tested mentally and physically every day, I didn’t falter, and was rewarded with five pounds gone and better sleep than I’ve had in years. I feel so great, in fact, that I am going to stay on this path!

I tell you all of this because, as I reflected on the past few weeks, I’m reminded of how women need to commit to a plan, a strategy, to find real love and create healthy relationships. 

How you do one thing is how you do all things! If you find yourself unwilling to COMMIT to PLAN when it comes to diet and exercise or to your career, you will likely find yourself stumbling along, making mistakes, giving up too easily, and wasting time with the wrong men.

I get it, I do. Sometimes it’s easier to give in and go on a date with the wrong guy just to have something to do, or avoid feeling lonely. 

But when you have a set goal – a lifetime with the man you were meant to have – and a plan to follow, those low times with “easy outs” are outweighed by clarity and resolve! You feel better and better each day and have a sense of pride for sticking with your commitment. PLUS – when you stay on track, you will be rewarded at the end with the relationship you’ve always wanted.

So let me ask you – do you have a Man Plan? Or are you just “winging it?” Think of how you’re feeling right now. Are you happy with how things are going? If not, you are due for a reset of your own to get you back on track for finding the RIGHT man for you. 

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receive advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

Date High Value!

In today’s video, I’m pretty much unplugged. Delivering heartfelt wisdom from the hallway of the Thompson Hotel in Nashville. A perfect (although not conventional) example of being high value.

Thanks for being here. June will be our high-value month and we’re going to deep dive into the nuances of value.

Mark your calendar and please join me every Thursday (June 2021) LIVE at 3:00 pm Pac., 5 pm CST., 6 pm EST.

💖 Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

Time to speak your truth

We’ve all been living differently for about a year now, and for many people, spending a lot more time on one’s own can dredge up emotional issues that were long suppressed. Did you experience that? If so, that can be a tough thing to carry as you attempt to date online now. Coronavirus dating was/is all about a new brand of digital intimacy, and maybe now, a year in, you’re finding that you struggle to make real connections because of all the blocks that have resurfaced! You’re afraid to speak up and speak your truth.

You’re not alone!

There are thousands of people who have turned SO inward in the face of isolation, that they’ve all but forgotten how to meet new people! 

But you MUST overcome this and put yourself out there! Learning to tip-toe your way into intimacy and truth with a man even when social restrictions seem to make it difficult, is KEY to manifesting the love you want.

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without The Guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

One of the best online dating profiles I’ve seen lately was 100% real. She wasn’t trying to be anything but herself. It went something like this:

“Single mom quarantined with two crazy monkeys (kids) in dire need of adult contact (wine) but hesitant to date (because, you know, pandemic death risk). Let me know if you’re interested in getting to know a sassy (sarcastic), chilled out (exhausted) and open-minded mom of two. P.S. I like my space and won’t answer messages during The Bachelor.”

My guess is that she was BOMBARDED with messages and the good news? She is in charge. She can respond or not! She was honest, she set boundaries. And the same can be true for you .

If you’re too afraid to speak up about your truth and set boundaries, your self-esteem suffers AND your partner will lose respect for you. What’s worse you’ll feel doubly betrayed – by yourself for not speaking up, and by your partner for overstepping! This just leads to a spiral of confusion and hard feelings.

Another way staying silent can hurt is that it causes many women to distance themselves emotionally. And in this age of social distancing, the emotional bond is more important than ever! This is a time for truth and not settling for anything that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled and happy, because there are enough things in the world that drain you. Staying emotionally connected to a partner can help get you through the tough days. 

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

And think about it- it’s never been easier to protect yourself! You are separated by a computer screen and possibly thousands of miles and social distancing regulations (which seem to be lifting now). If you’re not vibing with someone, just cut ties and move on! The silver lining of this pandemic is that you have more space than ever to really zero in on what you want and release the rest without fear of awkward in-person run-ins!

Usually, not being able to find and use your voice springs from one thing -FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of not being good enough…they can all render you speechless (believe me, I have been there). But being fear driven is no way to live and love. It isn’t until you can overcome that fear that you’ll truly be able to present your authentic self and use your voice to the utmost.

What fears are you struggling with most right now? I’m sure you’re not alone. Let’s get a discussion going in the comments! 

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without the guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

Come closer, but not TOO close! (The Importance of Good Boundaries!)

Have you ever considered just how important setting strong boundaries is for dating? Sound counterintuitive? After all, we want the men to come CLOSER right? Well….sort of!

Boundaries are vital because boundaries – what you will and won’t accept from a relationship  – keep you feeling safe and confident in your own values and preferences. THEY MATTER.

When we don’t have any parameters, and instead acquiesce to whatever requests come our way, in spite of how we might feel, we become uncomfortable and even resentful, right? And is that good for the relationship? No way! It isn’t good for your mental well-being, either, and that is a really important point to remember.

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

Remember, men aren’t mind readers. You need to teach them how to treat you, and boundary setting can help. When you have strong, healthy boundaries, you show that you have strong and healthy self-esteem. Trust me, men respect women who communicate healthy boundaries early and often – quality men do not want to date a doormat!

The key, though, is in HOW you establish those boundaries. Time to get out your “feather,” ladies! You want to gently and consistently present what makes you comfortable as opposed to going on the defensive and withdrawing or acting out when he oversteps his bounds (especially when he may not even realize that he has!). He’ll be much more receptive if things are made clear ahead of time, lovingly and honestly. 

It’s not always just in what you say, but how you say it!

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

I want you to take some time and think about where you are with your boundaries – in setting them, communicating them, and reacting when you feel they’ve been violated. Are you forthright or wishy-washy? Do you react viscerally, or do you withdraw? Unless your answers make you feel content and proud, you have some work to do. Future partners will thank you. It’s as much for his sake as it is for yours. 

Remember, boundaries give a relationship structure and help you attract and keep the kind of man you want. If you find yourself with a man who isn’t respecting yours after you’ve made them clear, it’s time to move on to someone who does!

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!