Don’t let this happen to you! One of the upsides of moving is that you come across things that take you down memory lane. Inside my nightstand, I have a stack of love letters from Michael.
I sat down on my bed to read them.
Thinking of your cards
Miss you cards
Happy Valentine’s Day cards
Happy Mother’s day cards
As I read them, the words started to blur together… I appreciate you; I love you, I cherish you, love you every day, I look forward to each day ahead, I’m proud of you, thank you for all you do…and on and on. Tears of joy streamed down my face as I read card after card.
What I find the most touching about this moment in time is how obvious it is that I am loved, adored, cherished, safe, appreciated, and valued.
Then everything changed!
I came across a photo of Michael and me on a hike on Maui, and as I looked closer, I saw something that triggered a memory. Not a good one. Something about the picture sparked a memory from my first marriage, and suddenly, my mind pulled me back in time.
Negative memories came flooding in, and with them, all the resentment I thought I had let go of. My heart started to beat faster; my chest felt tight, and I could feel my body tensing up.
This is the point of choice.
Did I have enough self-awareness to pull myself back to the now? Or would I go unconscious into a spin that had the power to ruin my day? Would I allow this to influence me negatively? Or worse, would I create a new reality based on my mind’s fears and neurotic self-righteousness?
Don’t let this happen to you!
It is the ultimate saboteur of love. If I hadn’t gone through the inner work I’ve done over the years, that memory COULD have affected Michael and me in the present. It could have thrown me into despair.
But here’s what I’ve learned.
We must fight to hold onto our joy, hope, and gratitude.
And here’s one way to do it.
The first thought you have is out of your control.
The first thought is always from your subconscious, and there isn’t a thing you can do about it.
The second thought, however, and every thought AFTER that, is 100% in your control.
So when that first thought said, “I can’t believe everything I had to go through in my first marriage,” the second thought I chose was, “That’s not true anymore. NOW I am happy. Now I am loved.” “Now I’m the woman I knew I could become.”
So many people go through their days on autopilot, which is essentially the opposite of mindfulness. We act unconsciously or habitually, even forming thoughts and judgments without conscious awareness of what we are doing (or why or how well). Then, we react.
Oftentimes, we spend most of our energy rehashing the past or rehearsing the future: wishing, hoping, planning, ruminating, missing, and regretting. We are disconnected from what is happening in our lives — right now.
So, what can you do when your mind threatens to steal your joy?
Remember your power. Remember that the second thought is always up to you.
The path you embark on in your mind is entirely within your control.
Look where your feet are! They are in the PRESENT.
YOU are in the present.
Stay there, and you’ll hold onto your joy, you’ll exude love, and your energy will be absolutely captivating!
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