I’ve seen a trend that’s not so good for women dating over fifty. When an attractive man shows up and you’re dating over 50 you start to get nervous and don’t feel confident at all! Now I know this happens because it’s happened to me. You see a good-looking guy and all of a sudden your heart starts to pound, your mouth goes dry. You can’t think of anything to say or the worst-case scenario is you talk over everything he says because you’re so nervous. If this has ever happened to you and you need dating advice, this blog is going to really support you.
Watch the episode here:
How to Feel Confident Around Attractive Guys
Now the first piece of dating advice I want to share with you when dating over fifty is I don’t want you to assume he’s great just because he’s great looking. It’s easy to assume that because he’s great-looking that he may be perfect or he’s got it easy because he has good looks. When dating over fifty it’s easy to make all these assumptions and it’s so easy to fall into that because right away we’re like, “Wow, he’s probably out of my league” because it really does trigger a lot of other feelings and insecurities in us. In a way, really good-looking and attractive men can help you tune up your ability to be more present which will boost your confidence when dating over fifty.
The next dating advice to help you is when you see a really attractive man, I want you to take this challenge:
Approach him, talk to him, or if he approaches you, talk to him and remember he’s a person too.
Approach him, talk to him, or if he approaches you, talk to him and remember that he is a person too. He has feelings, he has values. It’s your job to find out and not objectify him with his looks, but find out what kind of person he is, what kind of values he has, what’s important to him. When dating over fifty and we find somebody really attractive, sometimes we forget that they are just human beings. You don’t want to objectify him by thinking that that’s all there is to him. You want to get to know him and see what he’s all about. Don’t assume he’s great because he’s great looking until you have a chance to talk with him and get a feel for his nature.
The next thing that’s really going to help you is you have to learn to appreciate yourself.
Learn to appreciate yourself.
Self-appreciation is so important because that’s where confidence comes from. It’s appreciating who you are, your looks, your values, your character. You bring a lot to the table and don’t forget that so you feel more confident. Don’t devalue yourself when you see a great-looking guy, because that’s the first thing that happens. You freeze up and you’re starting to feel maybe less than. If you see an attractive man, make sure you’re looking at “What is this feeling that is triggering me?” Use this opportunity to go a little deeper on your journey of self-discovery.
What is this triggering in me? One of my clients recently said that she went out with a really good-looking man and it really triggered her because it triggered all of her worthiness, and good-enough issues. So I say yay to attracting and good-looking men into your life so they can bring all these unconscious negative beliefs about yourself so you can heal them! Beliefs like I’m not good enough and I’m not worthy. Look at this as an opportunity.
I really want you to embrace that having a man that’s easy on the eye is wonderful. You deserve it if that’s what you want. But remember, there’s more to a person than meets the eye.There's more to a person than meets the eye. Click To Tweet
Give him a chance by getting to know him and then looking at your own stuff that comes up and make sure you make the distinction between him and your unconscious beliefs that are surfacing for healing.
The last piece of dating advice I want to share is that you want to remember when you’re around a guy that’s attractive and not feeling confident, is that men are insecure too.
Sometimes people make assumptions that good-looking people are perfect.
Sometimes people make assumptions that good-looking people are perfect. Well, I wear hearing aids and, you know, you can’t see them because of my hair. But that was a big insecurity of mine for a long time. You just never know what’s on the other end of that good-looking face.
He may have had a really difficult childhood. He may just have lost friends. You just don’t know what his challenges have been physically, emotionally, or spiritually. We just want to remember that we all have things that we’re working through. Just because somebody is good-looking doesn’t mean that they haven’t had their share of challenges. In fact, sometimes being really good-looking is a challenge in itself because everybody makes assumptions about you and your personality and sometimes it deters women.
I’ve heard from men who shared that women don’t approach them because they’re intimidated by my looks. They want you to approach them because they’re aware of that. Don’t be put off by a man. That’s good-looking. I want you to know that you deserve to have the best that life has to offer. If that’s a man that’s really good-looking and that’s important to you, then so be it! Just make sure that the other things that are important to you are their character, their values. You should have a lot in common and you have should have enough resonance with each other to create a life together.How to Feel Confident Around Attractive Guys – Jaki Sabourin – Engaged at Any Age Click To Tweet
Initially, good looking men are nice, like I said, easy on the eye, nice to look at. Next time you see one, don’t be afraid to have a conversation with him. Make direct eye contact, take a deep breath and move into it instead of moving away from it so that you can get more comfortable with dealing with people that are really good-looking.
Never give up and you cannot fail.
I hope this was helpful. Just know I’m sending you so much love.