If you’re stuck in a seemingly endless loop of fruitless dating, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself if you’re self-sabotaging! Surely not every man on dating websites are bad apples, after all. But when it looks like those are the only kind of man you’re attracting these days, you must realize what the common denominator is – it’s you.
This isn’t a unique problem! Most women throw themselves into dating without dealing with past trauma and patterns, which leads to making the same choices again and again. You allow yourself to think you deserve no better than what you’ve had. Nothing could be further from the truth, of course, but until you start leaving the past behind and work on who you are NOW, things won’t change.
So the question is, how do you start that process?
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One important thing to do first is to acknowledge that you’re human and have made mistakes. We all have! Lose the fear that a man will reject you if you tell him your truth. This will allow you to be vulnerable and authentic, two traits that will attract the right guy into your life.
Then, forgive yourself for all the time you spent repeating the same patterns. Even though they might not be fun, they are familiar and comfortable. And sometimes that “feels” better than really putting ourselves out there and going for something new.
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Finally, commit to establishing a NEW pattern in how you relate to men. Write it down if you must. Ask questions like:
- “How do I wish to be seen?”
- “How have I sabotaged past relationships?”
- “What is something about myself that I have been afraid to share with the men in my life?”
- “What relationship boundaries serve me best for who I am NOW?”
These are just a few examples to get you started, but they can go a long way in getting you out of your rut of wasted dates. No, not every date will end with a love match, but when you are kind to yourself, present yourself authentically and unapologetically, and know what you want, you have a much better chance of finding that match!
Give it a try!
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