According to the hugely successful dating site eHarmony, more than 600,000 of their members have gotten married to people they met on the site. And that’s a stat from just ONE internet dating service!
Clearly, online dating isn’t going away anytime soon, and it can be a fantastic tool to use to practice your dating and conversation skills while you search for your “one and only.” You can learn how to use these sites to weed out poor matches and reel in the good ones!
I admit I’m a fan – it was online that I met my husband. Trust me, there ARE quality men out there just waiting to connect with you!
“But Jaki,” I can hear you saying, “how do I figure out who’s on there for a relationship and who’s just there for a good time?”
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Let me show you.
- Ask more questions! This is the number one opportunity that women miss when contacting men online. If you see a photo of him standing with his skis, for instance, don’t comment on how beautiful the background scenery is! He’ll just respond with an “It sure was! Thanks!’ And you’re done. Instead, ask a question! How long has he been a skier? Or where does he like to ski? Then you’ve opened a dialogue, and after a bit of back and forth, you can say how nice it was to chat and sign off, leaving the door open for him to contact you again! And if he does, you know he’s interested.
- You can pick dating sites that are more selective in their members and demand more transparency in the beginning about what type of relationship they want. Do your research! Don’t sign up for a “friends with benefits” type site if you want a “looking for a long-term partner” site! There is a site for everyone, n and starting where YOU want to ultimately land is of utmost importance. As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them.” Don’t try meeting someone who’s clearly just out for a good time in the hopes that you’ll change their mind – it just doesn’t work that way.
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- Be true to what you want in a partner and don’t settle. It may take a few go-rounds with some “Mr. Almosts” before you find THE one. You’ve set high standards for yourself in most areas of your life – why would you sell yourself short in this one? Take your time getting to know people. As I said before, the internet is a great way to practice flirting and banter in a low-risk environment via online chatting before deciding to meet in person (ALWAYS in a public place by the way!).
- Align your personal dating profile with your desire. Don’t try and attract someone by writing what you think men want. You have to start from an authentic place of what YOU want. This doesn’t mean you write “I want a ring within a year!” It means you think long and hard about how you want to be treated. What values are most important to you. The activities you enjoy that you want to share with someone special. Be confident in your choices. The more “into” your own life you are, the more the right guy will hone in on you. You show that you’re dynamic and interesting and not looking for a man to be the center of your life; rather, you want the perfect man to complement your life as it is!
I know the prospect of putting yourself out there can be intimidating. But online dating can open you up to a whole new world of possibilities. My advice? Pick a site that most closely aligns with what you want and try it out for a bit. Then if you’re not comfortable or feel like you’re not making good connections, take a week break. Then get back online!
As always, I’m here to help. You’ve got nothing to lose!
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