Online Dating Tips for Women Over 40 – Jaki Sabourin – Engaged at Any Age

 

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Online Dating Tips for Women above 40

I want you to remember that there are millions of people online and there are millions of men online, and you’re going to attract a certain amount of undesirable men in this online dating process. You have to really just accept the fact that there’s a lot of good guys out there and there are also some bad apples in the bunch. 

You need to learn to be on the lookout for those scammers and the guys that aren’t authentic, those players. And if you’re following me, I give you a ton of online dating advice on how to spot them.  I want you to embrace this. You need to hone in on the good guys and then just ignore and delete the bad ones, OK? Because this is the best way to meet people right now. And that’s how I met my husband, you probably know that now. 

Online Dating Tip #1 – Choose your dating sites wisely!

The first tip I want to give you for online dating tips over 40 is that you need to choose your dating sites wisely. There are so many great dating sites right now to choose from that I don’t recommend going with the niche sites when online dating. There are niche sites that are geared towards groups of people like farmers that are looking for love. But I recommend, even if you’re a farmer, to go on the bigger, more established sites because they have a bigger user base and you can cast a wider net and have more men to chat with.  Sometimes you may get the illusion that the dating sites don’t work when online dating over 40. But that’s not the case, niche sites can cause that. 

Pick one of the bigger more established sites like Match and Plenty of Fish. Definitely choose a site that has a broader membership base. You’re just going to have more options. 

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Online Dating Tip #2 – Create a great profile!

The next tip is to create a great profile. The other part of writing a great profile is choosing a great picture. Let’s talk about this in a little more detail.  Your picture is like a stop sign. You probably heard me say that you need to have a great picture if you’re looking for a long-term committed relationship over 40, and I don’t recommend having a lot of cleavage in your photos because you don’t need to objectify yourself sexually. 

You need to lead with something that a man will see you as a potential partner. Think of it this way the men are choosing a woman based on how she’s going to fit into their life. So if you’re coming across as the bombshell sexpot, that might not go over well with the family, although he may be attracted to you and want to get with you right away, you may not see you as a long term fit, so I recommend just showing up a little more conservatively. 

I always say skin is in! Click To Tweet

I always say skin is in. You can off-shoulder tops and dresses, solid colors, and definitely have professional photos done. I can’t overemphasize the difference professional photos make. Especially when online dating over 40.  When you get professional photos, you get professional advice. Don’t save those just for weddings and important events in your life. What could be more important than calling in your soulmate? So when online dating make sure you have a great profile shot that a man wants to STOP and look at you. 

Once they stop, they’re going to read your profile. I want you to keep it short. A lot of the problems that I see happening is that women write too much, it’s too much information and men check out before they even get past a couple of sentences.

Keep it simple, make it short. Click To Tweet

So keep it simple, make it short. One of the things you want to share is a few personal things, but make sure you don’t share anything too personal like that the fact you’re retired. I don’t recommend saying that because you might get more scammers.  Don’t reveal any details of your family or details of exactly where you live.  

But you do want to share personal things like your favorite songs or the book you just read or a trip you’ve taken or one of the best memories you have. These kinds of details create a connection. You need to provide a certain amount of detail.

Don’t just say I love the beach, say what beach and why. So “what” and “why” is very important for an online dating profile. One of my favorite beaches in Maui is Baldwin Beach, it is a very long, beautiful sandy beach adjacent to a state beach park.  There aren’t any homes built on it, which makes it absolutely divine. And why do I like it? There are no homes or condos on it, It’s really long and has a ton of sand. It’s on the windward side of the island, and the ocean is very active and there’s a lot of surf and I really enjoy that! 

So you want to elaborate on the things you enjoy because who knows? The guy you’re talking to might have been to Maui, might have been to that beach, and he can’t wait to talk to you about it. That would serve as an icebreaker as well.

I want you to share the three terms that are the most popular from a man’s point of view to give you more online dating tips.  If he sees them in your profile, you are going to connect!   They are caring, compassionate, and empathetic.  Use those terms and they will increase your views significantly.  I’m a very caring, compassionate, and fun-loving woman. If you use that statement a man is going to be drawn to your profile so use those words specifically. 

Another catchphrase for online dating tips is “I’m looking for someone who I can do my best with”, or

Online Dating Tips for Women Over 40 – Jaki Sabourin – Engaged at Any Age Click To Tweet

Men really like that. And that comes from a man that I coach. Add that to your online dating profile and I think you’re going to see more success there.

 

Let’s move on to the third online dating tip which is to look at all the men that send you messages online. I think one mistake that women can make is, there are so many messages that they don’t put any effort into reviewing the messages that they get. 

Online Dating Tip # 3 Go through all your messages!

I want you to just slow down and commit to spending some time reviewing and putting effort into your online dating experience. Don’t make the assumption that you should just rely on the dating site algorithms matches. What I suggest you do is go through all those messages that you receive and review them, taking 30 minutes a day. 

If you’re really serious about getting into a relationship this year, you need to make this a part of your schedule. You need to have structure when you’re approaching online dating because that’s going to give you more success. Go through all your messages first, weed out the scammers and the undesirables.

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Take the time to look at the profiles that sent you a message and see if there’s a match. Because a lot of times men will send you notes and you might just disregard them completely. But it could have been a really great guy so just do it, and don’t miss out on that opportunity! 

I already kind of mentioned this, but let’s talk about it a little bit more. Commit to putting in effort consistently. Again, stop relying on the computer algorithms and saying there are no good men out there, there are no good men online.  Those thoughts are just rationalizations.

Online Dating Tips for Women Over 40 – Jaki Sabourin – Engaged at Any Age Click To Tweet

Rational-lies your mind uses in order to keep you safe. But it’s also keeping you stuck and single. And so I want you to take the initiative to reach out to men, men love it.  They like it because first of all, we’ve got to remember, it’s not a date.

You’re not being aggressive, you’re not pursuing them. You’re just saying hi, just like you would at the grocery store, at the market, at Starbucks, whatever. Wherever you go, you’re just being friendly and then seeing if you can create a connection. And so go ahead and send men a little note about something you saw on their profile.

This is another great online dating tip: make sure you always ask a question because questions require answers and they’ll be more apt to respond to you. And stop being so picky when you’re putting in all this effort! One of the things that sabotage women so much is being too picky. You’re looking at a profile shot that is the size of a thimble or less than the size of my thumbnail and you’re thinking he’s not for me. How do you know? 

70 percent of my clients say that men look better in person or when they show up on video chats. They look so much better than they did in their profile and they sounded better and they just were better. I think historically, men just don’t put as much effort into their profiles as we do.

And they’re very visual. Men want women to have a beautiful profile picture, but they’ll just take a picture of themselves and put half of their body there. Make sure you take time to read their profile and get back to them. Get on the phone and see if there’s a connection. That’s what it’s all about. 

When you see a profile that’s too good to be true it probably is! 

When you’re reaching out and you see a great profile and it’s too good to be true, it probably is. There are scammers that will launch a perfect profile and will trick you into believing that there’s this amazing, perfect man. Make sure you have a yellow flag on the field when you see that kind of perfect profile.

Also, scammers are notorious for showing up as engineers out of the country will be back soon. That kind of thing. Or they pretend they are widowed and don’t have any children. So if you see that kind of specifics in a profile, I would actually assume that it’s a scammer because they’re notorious for using that. 

I hope these online dating tips are going to help you. I know they will if you apply them. 

Online Dating Tip #4 Meet men on video chat right away. 

Video chats have become all the rage, and the dating sites are now including the software right on the dating site, which makes it safer for you to actually get on video with them than ever before. More men are stepping up and rising to the occasion. Video chats are here to stay because it saves you time and energy.

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When you connect on video, you can get to know how he moves and what his voice sounds like and just pick up so much more. And you can actually create a deep emotional connection on video. I have proof of it with my clients. I think it’s a great way to get closer to really see if it could be a potential fit for you before you even meet them in real life. So get used to it.

Chat up on videos, on Skype, on Zoom. Make sure that you’re staying safe by not providing your actual email address or phone number, using your Google Voice, and using an email address that is dedicated to your online dating experience. 

I hope this was helpful! Sending you so much love. XO