We’ve all been living differently for about three months now, and for many people, spending a lot more time on one’s own can dredge up emotional issues that were long suppressed. Did you experience that? If so, that can be a tough thing to carry as you attempt to date online during this time.
Coronavirus dating is all about a new brand of digital intimacy, and maybe now, a couple of months in, you’re finding that you struggle to make real connections because of all the blocks that have resurfaced! You’re afraid to speak up and speak your truth.
You’re not alone!
There are thousands of people who have turned SO inward in the face of isolation, that they’ve all but forgotten how to meet new people!
But you MUST overcome this and put yourself out there! Learning to tip-toe your way into intimacy and truth with a man even when social restrictions seem to make it difficult, is KEY to manifesting the love you want.
One of the most creative dating profiles I’ve seen lately was 100% real. She wasn’t trying to be anything but herself. It went something like this:
“Empty nest mom quarantined with two crazy dogs in dire need of adult contact (wine) but hesitant to date (because, you know, pandemic death risk). Let me know if you’re interested in getting to know a sassy (sarcastic), and free-spirited (up for pretty much any adventure) professional woman with a penchant for overpriced coffee! P.S. I like my space, and I’ll respect yours too! So, you can rest easy knowing you won’t get any crazy texts from me if it takes you more than ten minutes to reply. We both have lives. 😉 “
I guess that she was BOMBARDED with messages and the good news? She is in charge. She can respond or not! She was honest; she set boundaries. And the same can be true for you.
If you’re too afraid to speak up about your truth and set boundaries, your self-esteem suffers, AND your partner will lose respect for you. What’s worse, you’ll feel doubly betrayed – by yourself for not speaking up, and by your partner for overstepping! This just leads to a spiral of confusion and hard feelings.
Another way staying silent can hurt is that it causes many women to distance themselves emotionally. And in this age of social distancing, the emotional bond is more important than ever! This is a time for truth and not settling for anything that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled and happy, because there are enough things in the world that drain you. Staying emotionally connected to a partner can help get you through the tough days.
And think about it- it’s never been easier to protect yourself! You are separated by a computer screen and possibly thousands of miles and new social distancing regulations. If you’re not vibing with someone, just cut ties and move on! The silver lining of this pandemic is that you have more space than ever to really zero in on what you want and release the rest without fear of awkward in-person run-ins!
Usually, not being able to find and use your voice springs from one thing -FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of not being good enough…they can all render you speechless (believe me, I have been there). But being fear driven is no way to live and love. It isn’t until you can overcome that fear that you’ll truly be able to present your authentic self and use your voice to the utmost.
What fears are you struggling with most right now? I’m sure you’re not alone. Let’s get a discussion going in the comments!