Watch my video HERE “The Secret to Trusting After Getting Hurt”
It seems like our instinct whenever we get hurt is to avoid the possibility of pain altogether. We are learning, after all. But does it have to be that way with relationships?
When you find yourself avoiding starting a new relationship because you’re afraid of getting hurt again, do yourself a favor, and just focus on that fear. Are you afraid to trust again? Are you afraid that it will turn out the same way? What EXACTLY are you afraid of?
Remember that everyone is different, and every relationship is different. And remember that the most important thing you can do for yourself is to trust again, even if you’re scared.
Let go of the fear, and recognize that the person you need to learn to trust is actually yourself! When you trust yourself to be ok, no matter what the outcome, you can remain open and present to whatever shows up in your life because you are being your own best friend.
Think of it this way: if you’ve ever bumped your hand on the oven when removing a cupcake pan, then you know that it burns. You also know that it doesn’t happen every time you bake cupcakes. You trust yourself because it is silly to think that you would burn your hand every time. Maybe you get better oven mitts. Maybe you pull the shelf out before removing the tray.
You now have the benefit of knowing that even though it hurt you have learned a valuable lesson. You don’t hate your oven. You actually appreciate your oven for helping you to expand and grow you awareness. But you bake cupcakes again because you trust yourself.
I realize that your hand and your heart are very different, but if you really want a relationship, if you really want to find the one, then relax, take a deep breath, and trust yourself. Trusting again can be the best thing you do for yourself. It’s like the icing on the cupcake!
Forgiveness will help you to feel again. You forgive your oven for burning you but you don’t make the same mistakes again. People come into our lives to teach us what we most need to learn. Once you learn the lesson sometimes there is no more need for the person. Their role in your life may be complete and now you are free to move onto the next lesson. Holding onto resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. We forgive not to condone or excuse bad behavior but so we can move on. When you release yourself from the past through forgiveness you essentially take the hook out of your own mouth so you can swim away!
When you hold onto the pain of past hurt the toxicity left over by the wound contaminates your life and causes you to unconsciously attract similar experiences over and over again in an attempt to heal the original wound which may cause you to ask your self “why is this happening to me again”
Now you know why!
The energy it takes to hold onto past hurts is so heavy and toxic it drains all of your life force energy and creates a block and disconnects with men, especially when you are dating.
It shows up in being “judgy” on dates
It shows up in defensive posturing
It shows up in fear FALSE EVIDENCE APPREARING REAL
It shows up in your lack of energy
It shows up in your beliefs
It shows up in how quickly you are to dismiss men
Let’s commit to releasing these blocks and show up deliberate, crurios and with an open heart!