Ladies, there is yet another new dating buzz word that I need you to be aware of. It’s called breadcrumbing and in my opinion it’s even worse than ghosting! Why? Because as painful and irritating it is to be ghosted, at least you know it’s time to move on. With breadcrumbing, a man keeps you hanging on through the least amount of effort he can – in effect, tossing you crumbs – and leaves you wondering if he really wants to date you, or if you’re just a back-up plan. You may know it as being strung along. He gives you just enough attention to keep you around, running hot and cold depending on his whims and his schedule. Not cool at all! Here are some red flags to look out for to guard against this obnoxious behavior!
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- You get sporadic communication from him – a text here, a DM there (oh do they love the DMs!)…and not on a daily basis. It’s almost like these guys have ESP. When you finally get fed up with the inconsistency, they sense it and crank up the contact for a few days in a row or a week. You get your hopes up and then – crickets for days. Again. Ugh!! Remember, it takes only seconds to send someone a text; if he can’t even do that, do you really think he’s planning a fabulous weekend away with you?
- He isn’t one to make concrete plans a week ahead of time (or ever in some cases!). He knows he doesn’t have to, because you’re so into him he can drop you a line at 7 PM on Friday asking if he can stop by later that evening…and you know what he’s looking for. Don’t be his booty call!
- He often cancels plans you do manage to make, and you get the impression he got a better offer. Multiple times.
- He becomes offended if you point out his rotten behavior. Then, just to prove he isn’t doing it, he will pour on the attention for a little while. That is, until you’re comfortable. Get ready to pick up those crumbs again!
- Your BS meter is going through the roof! Women know when we aren’t someone’s priority. The trouble is, we often fall into the trap of thinking we can change the behavior. That if we just give him some time to see how wonderful things could be, he’ll come around. I want you to stop doing this. Pay heed to that inner voice that’s tipping you off about the middle-of-the-night texts that say “thinking of you” when he hasn’t thought enough to actually see you in person in weeks! Don’t make excuses for him.
Click here to take the soulmate assessment and find out what vibe you’re sending out!
Friends, your time and love are just too precious to waste on low quality men who play games like this! The cost of maintaining contact with someone who breadcrumbs comes in the form of uncertainty and anxiety, never wanting to be without your phone lest you miss a message from him, or keeping your calendar open in case he has some free time. It’s not happening! You deserve better than this manipulative situation (and believe me, it is – there’s plenty of forethought!)
Please know that there are quality men out there who, like you, have had enough of the games and who know time is valuable. Stop collecting those crumbs! Tell this guy his little birdie is flying the coop… and mean it.
Click here to take the soulmate assessment and find out what vibe you’re sending out!
