Me and Michael at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club

Here’s the thing about men- we often make them more complicated than they are!

I’m not saying that men don’t have any depth, but their needs and wants are usually pretty simple!

And sometimes, we try to guess what they want, and we get it dead wrong. So why guess? I’ve asked Michael what turns men on and what turns them OFF. Below are the top six things that repel men. Believe these. Believe and avoid!

1. Talking too much – This can happen when you are nervous and it’s the fastest way to get friend-zoned. Don’t make the mistake of sharing every little detail with him. He may be acting like he’s listening, but inside he’s checking out. Not only will he start having visions of a life FILLED with your endless chatter, but one thing men DO find attractive is a little mystery! And you’re not leaving any mystery if you talk non-stop. Men like a little bit of an adventure. They want to explore you. So leave something to be explored and save the chit-chat for your girlfriend.

2. Too Much makeup – The natural look is best. I’m not saying you can’t wear anything at all, we all like to enhance what we’ve got, but overdone makeup, (like drawn-on eyebrows), too much eye shadow, or bright lipstick is a turnoff. Men love the more natural look because they like to know that they are seeing the real you. Here’s the bottom line- if you’re embarrassed to have a man see you without your makeup, you’re wearing too much!

3. Brown or dingy teeth – This might seem obvious, but as we get older, our teeth show it as much as the tiny lines around our eyes! And sometimes, we are just so used to looking at ourselves in the mirror that we just don’t see it. Use whitening strips regularly, especially if you drink coffee or red wine. Your smile is your calling card.

4. Dressing too sexy – What!? I know, conventional wisdom says that men like a woman in a skimpy dress. But that’s not actually true. The trick is to show skin that is not as obviously sexy. Like, for instance, wearing an off-the-shoulder top or cold shoulder top. Definitely, no thongs showing out of your jeans and no bra straps showing. Keep the undergarments under! You also want to avoid showing too much cleavage or too much leg. Remember, you want to pique his interest but leave a few things to his imagination!

5. Swearing – Do not swear like a truck driver on dates. He’ll be running for the hills. Never ever use an “F” bomb. You want to be seen as a lady, not his biker buddy. Of course, you’re not expected to completely edit yourself, but you do want to be mindful of this. Especially at first. Speak as though his mother (or yours) is listening!

It’s not that hard. Look good, speak right, and be a little mysterious. I want to be clear, I am not asking you to be fake, just mindful. You would want the same in return!

Love,

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receive advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

How you do one thing is how you do all things! 

Spring being in the air never fails to give me a sense of hope and renewal! To that end, I decided recently to undergo a 21-day cleanse to give my body a reset. Little did I know it would help reset my mind, too!  I’ll be kicking up my heels on Maui tomorrow, but for the first ten days of the program, I pretty much ate fruits and veggies only, staying hydrated with water. I was able to add in fish protein for the final week and WOW, I love seafood but I have never been so happy to eat it! To adhere to such a strict plan, even for just 3 weeks, was tough.

It was a real commitment to stay with it! But it was that commitment that helped me stay on track and keep my word to myself.  I wanted to do this to feel fresh and renewed at the end of the 3 weeks. I’m happy to say, in spite of being tested mentally and physically every day, I didn’t falter, and was rewarded with five pounds gone and better sleep than I’ve had in years. I feel so great, in fact, that I am going to stay on this path!

I tell you all of this because, as I reflected on the past few weeks, I’m reminded of how women need to commit to a plan, a strategy, to find real love and create healthy relationships. 

How you do one thing is how you do all things! If you find yourself unwilling to COMMIT to PLAN when it comes to diet and exercise or to your career, you will likely find yourself stumbling along, making mistakes, giving up too easily, and wasting time with the wrong men.

I get it, I do. Sometimes it’s easier to give in and go on a date with the wrong guy just to have something to do, or avoid feeling lonely. 

But when you have a set goal – a lifetime with the man you were meant to have – and a plan to follow, those low times with “easy outs” are outweighed by clarity and resolve! You feel better and better each day and have a sense of pride for sticking with your commitment. PLUS – when you stay on track, you will be rewarded at the end with the relationship you’ve always wanted.

So let me ask you – do you have a Man Plan? Or are you just “winging it?” Think of how you’re feeling right now. Are you happy with how things are going? If not, you are due for a reset of your own to get you back on track for finding the RIGHT man for you. 

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receive advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

Date High Value!

In today’s video, I’m pretty much unplugged. Delivering heartfelt wisdom from the hallway of the Thompson Hotel in Nashville. A perfect (although not conventional) example of being high value.

Thanks for being here. June will be our high-value month and we’re going to deep dive into the nuances of value.

Mark your calendar and please join me every Thursday (June 2021) LIVE at 3:00 pm Pac., 5 pm CST., 6 pm EST.

💖 Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

Time to speak your truth

We’ve all been living differently for about a year now, and for many people, spending a lot more time on one’s own can dredge up emotional issues that were long suppressed. Did you experience that? If so, that can be a tough thing to carry as you attempt to date online now. Coronavirus dating was/is all about a new brand of digital intimacy, and maybe now, a year in, you’re finding that you struggle to make real connections because of all the blocks that have resurfaced! You’re afraid to speak up and speak your truth.

You’re not alone!

There are thousands of people who have turned SO inward in the face of isolation, that they’ve all but forgotten how to meet new people! 

But you MUST overcome this and put yourself out there! Learning to tip-toe your way into intimacy and truth with a man even when social restrictions seem to make it difficult, is KEY to manifesting the love you want.

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without The Guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

One of the best online dating profiles I’ve seen lately was 100% real. She wasn’t trying to be anything but herself. It went something like this:

“Single mom quarantined with two crazy monkeys (kids) in dire need of adult contact (wine) but hesitant to date (because, you know, pandemic death risk). Let me know if you’re interested in getting to know a sassy (sarcastic), chilled out (exhausted) and open-minded mom of two. P.S. I like my space and won’t answer messages during The Bachelor.”

My guess is that she was BOMBARDED with messages and the good news? She is in charge. She can respond or not! She was honest, she set boundaries. And the same can be true for you .

If you’re too afraid to speak up about your truth and set boundaries, your self-esteem suffers AND your partner will lose respect for you. What’s worse you’ll feel doubly betrayed – by yourself for not speaking up, and by your partner for overstepping! This just leads to a spiral of confusion and hard feelings.

Another way staying silent can hurt is that it causes many women to distance themselves emotionally. And in this age of social distancing, the emotional bond is more important than ever! This is a time for truth and not settling for anything that doesn’t make you feel fulfilled and happy, because there are enough things in the world that drain you. Staying emotionally connected to a partner can help get you through the tough days. 

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

And think about it- it’s never been easier to protect yourself! You are separated by a computer screen and possibly thousands of miles and social distancing regulations (which seem to be lifting now). If you’re not vibing with someone, just cut ties and move on! The silver lining of this pandemic is that you have more space than ever to really zero in on what you want and release the rest without fear of awkward in-person run-ins!

Usually, not being able to find and use your voice springs from one thing -FEAR. Fear of rejection, fear of being seen, fear of not being good enough…they can all render you speechless (believe me, I have been there). But being fear driven is no way to live and love. It isn’t until you can overcome that fear that you’ll truly be able to present your authentic self and use your voice to the utmost.

What fears are you struggling with most right now? I’m sure you’re not alone. Let’s get a discussion going in the comments! 

[If you have not dated in decades or haven’t had success in dating or relationships yet go here now Join my Inner Circle and Start Creating Your Lasting Love Story without the guesswork!]

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!

Come closer, but not TOO close! (The Importance of Good Boundaries!)

Have you ever considered just how important setting strong boundaries is for dating? Sound counterintuitive? After all, we want the men to come CLOSER right? Well….sort of!

Boundaries are vital because boundaries – what you will and won’t accept from a relationship  – keep you feeling safe and confident in your own values and preferences. THEY MATTER.

When we don’t have any parameters, and instead acquiesce to whatever requests come our way, in spite of how we might feel, we become uncomfortable and even resentful, right? And is that good for the relationship? No way! It isn’t good for your mental well-being, either, and that is a really important point to remember.

Get Your Soulmate Assessment right here and find out what frequency you are sending out and how close you are to attracting your Soulmate!

Remember, men aren’t mind readers. You need to teach them how to treat you, and boundary setting can help. When you have strong, healthy boundaries, you show that you have strong and healthy self-esteem. Trust me, men respect women who communicate healthy boundaries early and often – quality men do not want to date a doormat!

The key, though, is in HOW you establish those boundaries. Time to get out your “feather,” ladies! You want to gently and consistently present what makes you comfortable as opposed to going on the defensive and withdrawing or acting out when he oversteps his bounds (especially when he may not even realize that he has!). He’ll be much more receptive if things are made clear ahead of time, lovingly and honestly. 

It’s not always just in what you say, but how you say it!

Go here to find your love forecast: Take our new Relationship Profile Test to find out what’s in store for your love life this year and find out who your celebrity Soul Sisters!

I want you to take some time and think about where you are with your boundaries – in setting them, communicating them, and reacting when you feel they’ve been violated. Are you forthright or wishy-washy? Do you react viscerally, or do you withdraw? Unless your answers make you feel content and proud, you have some work to do. Future partners will thank you. It’s as much for his sake as it is for yours. 

Remember, boundaries give a relationship structure and help you attract and keep the kind of man you want. If you find yourself with a man who isn’t respecting yours after you’ve made them clear, it’s time to move on to someone who does!

Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle Program. Get coaching and get the man!

Gifts of the Pandemic. (Yes! There are some!)

It’s hard to believe that we’ve been living with the specter of Covid-19 for more than a year, isn’t it? 

However, I’m full of hope that we are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel for an end to this pandemic. But as much as I’m looking forward to a time when I don’t have to run back into the house to grab a mask when I forget, there are a few aspects of the past year that I’m going to try and maintain in the years to come.

I’m going to keep paying attention to my body when it feels run down and nourish it. I’m going to keep prioritizing staying in touch with people I care about (whether in person or over Zoom). And I’m going to keep telling myself at least 3 things for which I’m grateful every single evening before I go to bed.   

When you think of your life once Covid is eradicated (or at the very least, no longer hanging over our heads day in and day out), is it just like it was prior to 2020? Or are there some things you want to keep? Perhaps there are some aspects to pandemic life that have benefitted you, as they did me. 

You may have re-discovered a long-dormant hobby, or became a better cook, or gained a new perspective on the importance of self-care and preservation. One of the biggest benefits I’ve seen for my clients is closer connections, faster! People have been hungry for connection as we’ve been isolated over the past year, and diving into Zoom calls or video chats on dating sites has provided that for many, many single women (and men). Yes, you had to up your game on using tech, but learning to use video dating to your advantage has unlimited potential for creating genuine connection, faster, with men you’re interested in. Don’t stop using this tool once the world goes back to “normal” (and if you are still hesitant about it, I have some tips and tricks that can help ease your way into things)! 

It’s been a tough year in so many ways, but I hope that when you reflect on how you’ve handled it, you can pull out some positives that will enrich your life and relationships in the years to come. This will set you on a positive path as we move towards a “new normal” and as you move even closer to the love of your life!

💖Go here to read about joining my Inner Circle: The Engaged at Any Age Inner Circle is your best chance to fulfill your mission and find a quality man. Get access to my team and me every week, receiving advice and feedback you need to move forward on your love journey, and so much more! Go here to read about it and sign up!