Recently I talked about how many women struggle to get over their exes.
It doesn’t matter how dysfunctional a relationship is, a breakup can destabilize even the strongest women because it triggers our smaller, scared selves.
“What if he was the best I’ll ever get?”
“What if I am alone forever now?”
These are fear-based statements that leave you in a state of CLINGING to what no longer serves you or wants you or for that matter KNOWS you.
There is a wonderful book by author Sue Monk Kidd called “When the Heart Waits.”
In it, she describes the root of the word “clinging.” She explains that it’s from the Anglo-Saxon word “clingan” which means “to shrink.”
When you cling, you shrink! You are made smaller. You are sent backward to a version of yourself you are ready to outgrow!
Sure it’s unsettling, after all, none of us knows what the future holds.
But you DO know what the past holds! You DO know what that relationship was like and all of the factors that led to its unraveling. So why would you want to hold onto that?
The reality is, you aren’t clinging to your ex, you’re clinging to a vision you had that never materialized. But you’ve got to take off your blinders. That wasn’t reality, it was potential, and a man’s unrealized potential can steal YEARS from you.
My girlfriend always said, “Don’t marry potential, marry reality!” Good advice.
Now, it’s time to look forward. Love the unknown in the same way you love a beautifully wrapped present that you haven’t yet opened! You likely don’t get mad about not knowing what’s inside. You delight in the mystery!
So let go, move on, and instead of shrinking, RISE and EXPAND into a new and better love!
PS: I’m on a mission to coach as many women as possible into a meaningful relationship. That’s why I’ve opened my Inner Circle to help you navigate the journey from dating to SOULMATE LOVE! Go here now to read more and join.
